I'm A Rape Survivor — But Please Don't Call Me Brave

They want us to “refuse to be a victim,” because if we don’t call ourselves victims, it’s easier to deny that a crime ever happened.Content warning: racism, explicit description of rape and physical assault.December 1994 marked the end of a monumental year for South Africa. Apartheid had just come to an official end and Nelson Mandela had just become president....more

Why Are People So Shocked When They Learn Who the Rapist Is?

I am a prosecutor, and I want you to know that RAPISTS are not simply the people that kidnap you, put you in the trunk of a car, or rape you in an alley. Public domain image via Pixabay In fact, over the last eight years that I’ve been an attorney, most rapists I’ve met wouldn’t even come close to that definition. Most of the rapists I’ve prosecuted are well known to their victims....more
Every woman should read this, regardless of age or race. Sadly, it is the true reality. ...more

To Fellow Survivors of Sexual Assault: I Don’t Know You, But I’m With You

The Brock Turner case has really caused an uproar on social media and the internet in general, and to be honest, it would make no sense to not write about it at this point.I have been struggling with my thoughts about this case for about a week.As a survivor of sexual assault myself, this case has definitely roused a lot of feelings for me. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could possibly write a post about it without it being a huge mess of emotions....more

4 Things You Should Never Say To A Sexual Assault Survivor

Survivors need support, but often, when they reach out, they are met with responses that only cause further trauma.It’s 2016, and many people still do not know what to say to sexual assault survivors. Whereas some may lack empathy towards them, others simply do not know how damaging their words can be. Many survivors refrain from speaking out immediately afterward because of the things people say; it’s time we started considering the language we use to discuss this matter....more

Dear Dan Turner: You Are the Problem

Dear Mr. Turner,I bet if you and I broke bread and shared a bottle of wine, we’d have a lot in common.I’m a parent too, and I would love to hear how you raised such a gifted, smart athlete....more

6 Ways That Sex Changes for Survivors of Sexual Assault

   I've been meaning to write this for a while, but I've been avoiding it for a number of reasons... the big one being that a lot of people I know read this....more
Actually, if those people would just light themselves on fire, we could get things moving a bit ...more

Rape Fantasies After a Sexual Assault?!

I was 17. It was summer -  I remember the sound of the cicadas. I remember a feeling of desperate panic, and a very sudden realization that there was absolutely nothing I could do.His penis didn't enter my vagina, so it wasn't called rape.  It was called an "unfortunate situation", and a few people whispered about underage drinking and its unintended consequences....more
pddotnet EXACTLY! I felt so... wrong. Ashamed. How could I really have been traumatized if I had ...more

Hollywood's Love Affairs with Rape Scenes: Why Do Good Writers Screw Us with Rape Scenes?

This past weekend, I saw two great films, and I witnessed two quick rape scenarios in a row. “I saw it in the movies” as they say. How can these incredible script writers, who managed to write such wonderful stories, be so off-point when it comes to rape?...more

Campus Culture is Not a Rape Defense

Sexual Assault Prevention Ribbon...more

India has a rape problem but so does the rest of the world.

I have traveled extensively throughout India and I have plans to go back this spring to complete a training program....more