Til It Happened to Me

It feels like years since I have had the strength to form coherent sentences, to the tune of something meaningful. As I sit here in the silence of my bedroom, behind closed doors, in front of my laptop, and filled with many emotions leaking through my pores. Tears barely making their way to the surface, as I am again called upon to confront passive aggressive demons I have long buried beneath my feet. Demons I stomp deeper daily, never daring to unearth.  ...more

Why Sexual Assault Needs As Much Attention As Rape

Why doesn't sexual assault get as much attention as rape? Why are the sexually assaulted victims ignored because rape is a more violent crime? Why doesn't anyone want to help them as much as the rape victims? Why are their feelings, thoughts, pains and frustrations brushed off because "no actual crime occurred?" So, if it's not full blown rape it's not a crime? It does not count?Sexual assault victim's claims should not be brushed off, and told they are unimportant....more

I'm A Rape Survivor — But Please Don't Call Me Brave

They want us to “refuse to be a victim,” because if we don’t call ourselves victims, it’s easier to deny that a crime ever happened.Content warning: racism, explicit description of rape and physical assault.December 1994 marked the end of a monumental year for South Africa. Apartheid had just come to an official end and Nelson Mandela had just become president....more

Why Are People So Shocked When They Learn Who the Rapist Is?

I am a prosecutor, and I want you to know that RAPISTS are not simply the people that kidnap you, put you in the trunk of a car, or rape you in an alley. Public domain image via Pixabay In fact, over the last eight years that I’ve been an attorney, most rapists I’ve met wouldn’t even come close to that definition. Most of the rapists I’ve prosecuted are well known to their victims....more
Every woman should read this, regardless of age or race. Sadly, it is the true reality. ...more

To Fellow Survivors of Sexual Assault: I Don’t Know You, But I’m With You

The Brock Turner case has really caused an uproar on social media and the internet in general, and to be honest, it would make no sense to not write about it at this point.I have been struggling with my thoughts about this case for about a week.As a survivor of sexual assault myself, this case has definitely roused a lot of feelings for me. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could possibly write a post about it without it being a huge mess of emotions....more

4 Things You Should Never Say To A Sexual Assault Survivor

Survivors need support, but often, when they reach out, they are met with responses that only cause further trauma.It’s 2016, and many people still do not know what to say to sexual assault survivors. Whereas some may lack empathy towards them, others simply do not know how damaging their words can be. Many survivors refrain from speaking out immediately afterward because of the things people say; it’s time we started considering the language we use to discuss this matter....more

Dear Dan Turner: You Are the Problem

Dear Mr. Turner,I bet if you and I broke bread and shared a bottle of wine, we’d have a lot in common.I’m a parent too, and I would love to hear how you raised such a gifted, smart athlete....more

6 Ways That Sex Changes for Survivors of Sexual Assault

   I've been meaning to write this for a while, but I've been avoiding it for a number of reasons... the big one being that a lot of people I know read this....more
Actually, if those people would just light themselves on fire, we could get things moving a bit ...more