Dear Dr. Romance: I feel terrible about not keeping the promises I made

Dear Dr. Romance:My story will probably sound like a thousand others you've heard, but I am in desperate need of some answers. I am in my fifties, my wife is a few years younger. My wife had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, so menopause is not likely part of this equation. As you are probably guessing, a large part of our problem has to do with the lack of intimacy and sex. We had talks about this a few different times, and she would promise to do better. "Better" never happened, and I became frustrated....more

Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend doesn't think she can handle this relationship.

Dear Dr. Romance:I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing parents, and the recent death of her dog, she has a lot going on. She has told me that she doesn’t think a relationship can work for her, with all the other things on her plate…...more

Getting Along With Each Other

Four Things You Can Do This Weekend for an Even Better Relationship

Sometimes “working on your relationship” just seems like too much, well, work.  There is a perception that it takes grand gestures and deep talks to improve things on the homefront or make a relationship strong.  However, when it comes right down to it, little things usually make a big impact too, maybe an even bigger impact if they are done consistently....more

Dr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy Relationship

Dr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many difficult times since.I read many articles about what happens "after the passion dies" in long-term relationships, and my clients frequently are worried about the same question. I believe what happens, when all goes well, is that a sense of humor sets in....more

When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships

Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together greatly increases the chance that you'll make it as a couple. When I’m counseling couples on the verge of divorce, it’s amazing how establishing mutuality allows the love to come back....more

Dear Dr. Romance: What I fear has happened the second time round

Dear Dr. Romance:I hope you can help me. My boyfriend passed away two years back... We were pretty much engaged, living together and everything. I thought i was over the whole thing, but now I know I'm not.A month back, or so.. i was seeing a man, and today i found out he had passed away. He reminded me so much of my late, they shared the same name, just second name being different. In the grieving process, I'm feeling the loss of both. And my late especially....more

Resolving Inner Anarchy

Recent events have me thinking about political anarchy—riots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It’s frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: repression and neglect. When people are economically and politically repressed, they become frustrated. When they are also ignored and neglected, negative forces are free to take over. This is how gangs and terrorist organizations take hold. ...more

Dear Dr. Romance: It seems to be going in a circle.

Dear Dr. Romance,I would like your advice in my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year and a half and known each other for 3 years. He calls me names and puts me down when i try to communicate with him and every time i want to break it off he tells me we should try again but it seems to be going in a circle.Dear Reader:...more