Being a mom has been an amazing experience. I wouldn't trade it for the world, so I looked forward to becoming a mom for the second time. We got pregnant with my daughter the second month we tried, so when we started trying again when she was about 18 months, we didn't think it would take long. And it wasn't until four months in that I got a positive on a pregnancy test. But we were devastated when at a day before 6 weeks, I started bleeding. It was confirmed that I was indeed miscarrying and I felt like I would never stop crying. ...more
This month marked my second round of clomid. Now it's the waiting period.Those excrutiating weeks where the only thing you can do is wait and see. The thoughts running rampantly through your mind wondering if it worked this time. Marking off the days in a calendar, obsessively checking your ovulation calendar, then downloading a second one in case the first one isn't good enough, and demanding baby making sex in case you miscalculated....more
And then when I was 20, my OBGYN informed me I had a tilted cervix. I sat buck naked from the waist down trying to figure out if I was supposed to be excited or scared. I asked him what that meant and he simply replied, "Oh, it's not bad. You may face a few difficulties getting pregnant down the road, seeing as you also have irregular periods, but it's nothing to worry about now."...more
Feeling small, weak and out of control, I recognize these sensations. I've been here before. I am at the point during the dreadful two week wait where I turn into someone I know well but don't like very much.The hormones I'm taking (progesterone, estrogen and heparin) have had a chance to dig into my system encouraging my mind to go to ugly places, think ugly thoughts and say ugly things....more
The National Zoo in Washington DC may be getting a new female panda because the one they have hasn't been able to produce more cubs after one successful pregnancy. I can't help but feel sad about this. I am an infertile woman who was successful with treatments the first time around. I am an infertile woman who has not been able to get pregnant again since. The message being inadvertently given by zoo researchers is that this panda is worthless if she can't reproduce.
When my husband and I were trying for a baby…way back in 2007…it took us two long years to conceive our daughter. Two long years marked by two miscarriages and a lot of heartache.When we got pregnant with DD – and it became apparent that yes, this baby is healthy and will be born – it created a huge shift in my level of happiness.Looking back, I know that in those two years of trying for a baby I was deeply depressed. It’s hard to find happiness when you want something so badly, and yet it remains out of reach....more
Her name was Ava Grace and looking back now, I realize she wasn't meant to be... The name was not definite — it could have been Mia or Sera or Julia or even Jack as well — but the image of her was fully formed in my mind. Strawberry blond pigtails bounced as she giggled at kisses blown on her belly; a smattering of inevitable freckles danced across her nose and cheeks; her dimpled hands grasped a pink blankie, her fingers working the silky fabric as she drifted of to sleep....more
So I went to the doctor for a clomid check. Yes, clomid is a fertility drug and yes I'm only thirty-two and have a child, but for some reason, like Tina Fey's character in Baby Mama, I have a poorly shaped uterus. They just figured this out a year later because Kaiser sucks so much ass.Anyway, the doctor who's there today is busy, so in walks his intern or something, young like Doogie Howser, but with absolutely no confidence or authority.