Week one of our separation

Last week was one hell of a week. I have had my extreme ups and downs. I have gone through the panic of "am I making a mistake" to "oh my god I'm not making a mistake, but this sucks." Then there was the massacre in Connecticut, and my heart turned to lead. I did my best last week to not text Bob. I usually start out my days feeling strong and on top of things. I tell myself that I won't text him or respond to his texts. But as the days go on, I get lonely, angry and I can talk myself into saying just "one" thing to him....more

Separation, divorce and dogs

Let me tell you how it feels when your owners that you love to wagging bits decide to argue and separate. Believe it or not, we feel everything and get really confused, nervous and sad.When you experience your parents scream and yell, slam doors and sleep in different rooms…It makes our whole world go crazy....more

The 12 Steps of Getting Over A Break-Up

Imagine that -- working the steps in every area of our lives including a devastating breakup. This is what keeps us sober and clean and sane. And really the whole relationship experience will be for naught unless we learn something from it, yes? Yes. Let's work our way through this. ...more
Friends do really help and I like how you have said it, "it's okay to talk to your friends until ...more

We're Dead and Sleeping With Ghosts

A tear cut down my cheek in silence, like one more golden bead along the side of the glass. It fell on my plate and slid toward the sauce. I looked at it vacantly and I thought about how Rodrigo didn't really need me. I thought about how logical he was. How he didn't require me to emote, how he'd never chastised me for being "remote" or "too logical." I thought about how he knew to leave me alone. Were these bad things? Had we traded in intimacy for a sense safety in one another? ...more
what an incredible piece of writing. how tragic and painful and amazing and full of sorrow... ...more

Holding Down the Tamper on My Breaking Mommy Heart

I woke up early today. Tiptoed downstairs. Rattled scoops of dry food into pet bowls. Slurped yogurt and crunched toast. After that I headed for the calendar, knowing I shouldn't. I couldn't help it though. The days and weeks seem to possess some crazy gravitational power. In my defense, I did white-knuckle-grip the kitchen table but in the end, the calendar won. I counted the squares -- 27. Collapsed onto a kitchen chair. Pressed a cloth handkerchief to my nose. Lately I've made sure there's one in every room. In 27 days you, my oldest daughter, will make like John Denver and leave on a jet plane....more
@SunbonnetSmart.com  @JennaHatfield Thanks, girlfriends:)more


  I'm feeling the distance between Rudy and I. It feels very, very wide, with no view of closing the gap. The three thousand plus mile gap. Once or twice, I have had a vision of me falling flat on my face. That my stoic attitude will get the best of me, and crumble, causing me to let go emotionally, and not be able to hold my head up high and deal with our distant situation....more


independence Independence Day. A day to celebrate our freedom. And to lavish the day with reds, whites, and blues. To come together, with family and friends, spending the day relaxing, chatting, and eating....more

Eye Glasses

http://waltzinghorses.blogspot.com/2012/02/eye-glasses.html Cold mornings required a goat coat...more

Love in the Time of Baked Beans