Love in the Time of Baked Beans

The Renovation Relationship

I'm a real fixer, lining up and dating these guys like they were so many houses to paint and rewire, then turn over to new owners, making a tidy profit in social capital. I was going to make them better, you see, so when I left, they'd know it was okay, because they were in pretty good shape. But is there really a way I can fix this man enough that he won't be shattered when I leave -- or is that just one of the in-denial, rationalizing lies I tell myself? ...more
Hi, Susan.  Speaking as a member of the less fair gender, I can promise you that men are ...more

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Going through a divorce can be isolating.  Depending on the problems with your marriage, you may be feeling fear, guilt or shame.  You may have been keeping your marital problems secret for a long time, believing that one does not ‘air their dirty laundry’. You may have been blamed or accused of being crazy because you instinctively knew that something was wrong but always had your feelings diminished or invalidated.Now that you have decided to end your marriage you need to talk about it and process this dramatic new change in your life. ...more

What's better than O.K.? ...more

The Nub of Things

It was early in the morning.  We'd had a little skirmish over her new karate suit, onto which I was trying to sew in a bleary-eyed fashion three cloth badges.  Apparently I sewed the one on the sleeve the wrong way round. As it was in Chinese, it was hard to tell, but Anna-mouse was up in arms.  She had a good shout, flung herself off the bed where I was sewing, and hurtled into her bedroom.A few moments later she re-appeared with some magnetic words from a poetry kit and began to stick them to the radiator.The first wonky line of words read:...more


I love playing dominoes.  I love everything about them.  I love the sleek, cool pieces. Tiles, they call them.  I love turning them in my hand.  I love the way our set of tiles comes in an old-fashioned metal tin.  I love that once you have chosen your initial tiles and placed them in a strategically defensive line before you, backs to the other players, the superfluous ivory oblongs are put into a pile called the Bone Yard....more

Keeping it Simple

When the Bim escaped Kent Town with his new love Mary a few weeks ago, it was to a little village about seven miles away.  A different world.  A good move.  And after comforting Anna-mouse through several anxious pre-move nights, it was thankfully a move that has proved popular with her, too....more

A Tale of Divorce That Is Really a Love Story: An Open, Heartfelt Letter to My Sweet Son

Here I am, my little Enlai, contemplating underneathness and upsides.  Optimism holds my hand, but occasionally I feel its fingers loosening.  And it is during these moments that I think of you, your curiosity, your laugh when I do my master Winnie the Pooh impersonation, your top-o-the-lungs shouting to anyone who would listen at the playground that you needed a plaster because your ma tripped and fell while chasing you, your desire to kiss my eyelids just as I’ve always kissed yours. ...more

In the Best Interest of the Children: Custody Considerations II

Decisions, Decisions I make decisions for my Darling Boys, intending to promote their welfare and wellbeing, every day....more

It's not easy to come to a great solution for the children. There will always be compromise. ...more