Why Are People So Shocked When They Learn Who the Rapist Is?

I am a prosecutor, and I want you to know that RAPISTS are not simply the people that kidnap you, put you in the trunk of a car, or rape you in an alley. Public domain image via Pixabay In fact, over the last eight years that I’ve been an attorney, most rapists I’ve met wouldn’t even come close to that definition. Most of the rapists I’ve prosecuted are well known to their victims....more
Every woman should read this, regardless of age or race. Sadly, it is the true reality. ...more

To Fellow Survivors of Sexual Assault: I Don’t Know You, But I’m With You

The Brock Turner case has really caused an uproar on social media and the internet in general, and to be honest, it would make no sense to not write about it at this point.I have been struggling with my thoughts about this case for about a week.As a survivor of sexual assault myself, this case has definitely roused a lot of feelings for me. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could possibly write a post about it without it being a huge mess of emotions....more

It's Time

This has been a long time coming. It started with a whisper in the back of my brain and I wrote Musings. Then it grew to a hunger in my soul and I wrote Telling Stories. And now I just know: it’s time. It’s time to press publish and say:I am a survivor.Of sexual abuse. Of sexual assault....more

4 Things You Should Never Say To A Sexual Assault Survivor

Survivors need support, but often, when they reach out, they are met with responses that only cause further trauma.It’s 2016, and many people still do not know what to say to sexual assault survivors. Whereas some may lack empathy towards them, others simply do not know how damaging their words can be. Many survivors refrain from speaking out immediately afterward because of the things people say; it’s time we started considering the language we use to discuss this matter....more

Taking My Power Back After Sexual Assault

A while ago, I wrote about how sex has changed for me since my sexual assault, and more recently how I can finally see that I will eventually find my way back to normal.But Monday night, I had another emotional breakdown, completely out of nowhere....more

Does Rape Culture Exist?

I've been VERY conflicted about whether "rape culture" exists. ...more

6 Ways That Sex Changes for Survivors of Sexual Assault

   I've been meaning to write this for a while, but I've been avoiding it for a number of reasons... the big one being that a lot of people I know read this....more
Actually, if those people would just light themselves on fire, we could get things moving a bit ...more

Consent: You Didn't Get It From Me

At seventeen, I didn't think it was odd that you, at twenty-two, wanted to date me. ...more
Thank you so much! I can't tell you how grateful I am to have this piece be featured.more

A Few Lists Into My Mind

I like reading, a lot, and I hate when I don't have time for it.I like watching movies and TV shows that make me think.I like going out and trying new foods.I like going for walks in the sun, and walks in the rain.I like cooking.I like oceans, lakes, all bodies of water.I like animals.I like to just be — just hang out, talk, and not actually do anything in particular....more
NainaParis Thank you very much, I appreciate you stopping by and letting me know what you think!more

The Hard Edge of Doubt

When I think about the man who attacked me that summer morning, I think about the way he looked beneath the bus stop canopy, where I'd seen him just moments before he crossed the street and pulled a knife on me. He was big; he took up most of the bench he was sitting on. He was wringing his hands and shaking his head as though he were arguing with himself, and every once in a while, he'd stand up, wipe his hands on his shorts, and then sit back down....more