Facing Up to My Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty, little secret, and I was always told "secrets, secrets are no fun - secrets, secrets hurt someone." My secret? Shame. It’s also a major topic I have been recently addressing in my life with my counselor.  Many of us assimilate shame and guilt but actually they are two very different thought processes.  For example: Guilt is, "Uh oh, I did some wrong and I feel bad." Shame is, "Uh oh, I did something wrong so I am bad." ...more

I Hate Making Meal Plans

I Hate Making Meal Plans....more

Dealing with Shame

This is a very brief start to a long conversation.  I am 47 years old with a teen son.  I realized today that the shame I have felt since a young girl has shaped and influenced my life and shaped my present.   In the time capsule of my teens and twenties, I was ashamed of my dad for being a loser and for not being a typical dad who was there when the times got rough, nor could he keep a steady job.  Smart as heck as he was, it was not enough for me.   I would be better.  ...more


 The spiritual practice we are focusing on this month is forgiveness. As I began to pray about this, I wondered how I was going to talk about forgiveness and food. It was during our Living the Five Agreements group when I realized that what had helped me stop overeating and eating compulsively was when I began forgiving myself and others....more

My Wagon Has 3 Wheels and Wobbles

 “Shame needs 3 things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows…But the 4 elements of shame resilience are: Name it. Talk about it. Own your story. Tell the story.”Brené Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection ...more

The Lame Blame Shame Game

I posted this Wednesday (below in italics along with image of butterflies) this week on my Facebook page. I am trying to be braver and more honest by allowing my true voice to emerge.  It has emerged -- always been there -- I just have not allowed myself to share the voice openly.  I like to write live so social media and blogging really works for me....more


All of us know it. The feeling of a sinking heart, blush of the cheeks and crushing embarrassment. For some of us the tendrils of this dissolute emotion of shame can morph into anger or depression, sometimes both....more

Shame: I Have a "Butch" Fiancée and I Still Pointed a Student to the Wrong Bathroom

Today I felt more shame than I have ever felt before in my life. I felt like a failure to my lesbian and educator identities....more
Wow, powerful stuff going on here! I sometimes wonder if I would be different than I am now if I ...more

Calling Out Shame

I recently watched Brené Brown's Ted Talk, "Listening to Shame." As she described some of the messages shame tells us, I got noticeably uncomfortable and started to feel like I might cry. I am very familiar with feeling "not good enough" and questioning, "Who do I think I am?" ...more
Lisa Thomson  Thank you for your comment.  It's important that YOU are not any of the things ...more

How Did I Miss Fat Shaming Week?