Don't look at me!

My son knows that his body is private. He and I have had the conversation multiple times about the parts of our bodies that we do not share with others. I had to go over all those details again with him recently for Cub Scouts, as it was a requirement for one of his badges. ...more

a low down dirty shame...

this is a shame-free zone…  I remember when I first thought of the idea to start a mental health blog, just the mere idea of doing this gave me extreme anxiety.  The stigmas placed on people dealing with all facets of mental health, especially among the Black community, caused me to pump my brakes.  Will people think I’m crazy?  Who will want to date/love me with this scarlet B (bipolar disorder) on my chest?  Will people treat me differently?  These were all questions that swirled in my head.  ...more

low down dirty shame

this is a shame-free zone…  I remember when I first thought of the idea to start a mental health blog, just the mere idea of doing this gave me extreme anxiety.  The stigmas placed on people dealing with all facets of mental health, especially among the Black community, caused me to pump my brakes.  Will people think I’m crazy?  Who will want to date/love me with this scarlet B (bipolar disorder) on my chest?  Will people treat me differently?  These were all questions that swirled in my head.  ...more

Facing Up to My Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty, little secret, and I was always told "secrets, secrets are no fun - secrets, secrets hurt someone." My secret? Shame. It’s also a major topic I have been recently addressing in my life with my counselor.  Many of us assimilate shame and guilt but actually they are two very different thought processes.  For example: Guilt is, "Uh oh, I did some wrong and I feel bad." Shame is, "Uh oh, I did something wrong so I am bad." ...more

I Hate Making Meal Plans

I Hate Making Meal Plans....more

Dealing with Shame

This is a very brief start to a long conversation.  I am 47 years old with a teen son.  I realized today that the shame I have felt since a young girl has shaped and influenced my life and shaped my present.   In the time capsule of my teens and twenties, I was ashamed of my dad for being a loser and for not being a typical dad who was there when the times got rough, nor could he keep a steady job.  Smart as heck as he was, it was not enough for me.   I would be better.  ...more

A DIET OF FORGIVENESS.

 The spiritual practice we are focusing on this month is forgiveness. As I began to pray about this, I wondered how I was going to talk about forgiveness and food. It was during our Living the Five Agreements group when I realized that what had helped me stop overeating and eating compulsively was when I began forgiving myself and others....more

My Wagon Has 3 Wheels and Wobbles

 “Shame needs 3 things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows…But the 4 elements of shame resilience are: Name it. Talk about it. Own your story. Tell the story.”Brené Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection ...more

The Lame Blame Shame Game

I posted this Wednesday (below in italics along with image of butterflies) this week on my Facebook page. I am trying to be braver and more honest by allowing my true voice to emerge.  It has emerged -- always been there -- I just have not allowed myself to share the voice openly.  I like to write live so social media and blogging really works for me....more

Redemption

All of us know it. The feeling of a sinking heart, blush of the cheeks and crushing embarrassment. For some of us the tendrils of this dissolute emotion of shame can morph into anger or depression, sometimes both....more
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