Co-dependency, guilt, shame, loss and other emotions that erupt when taking care of an elderly loved one

The process of taking care of an elderly loved one usually starts out slow like any relationship. Even if its your mother and you have a relationship the beginning of the caretaking process is a new chapter in your lives that you are starting that you have not experienced before. ...more

Shame on Blacks--Denying Civil Rights to Gays

Shame on Blacks—Denying Civil Rights to Gays   ...more

Working with Guilt, Avoidance and Shame

His name was Aaron.  I was 14 and a regular volunteer at a nursing home about a mile from my high school. I walked there after class once or twice a week to help the activities director run the bingo game, or gather people to listen to someone play the piano, or I'd set up the ramp for wheel chair bowling.  But mostly I just liked to hang out there and play with everyone.  ...more


If anyone who has been living in a cave for the last 24 months is now standing in the bright sunlight, blinking, asking how did we get into such a financial mess, I would answer: The speeding train of greed slammed into the truck on the tracks of denial...both going in what they thought was the direction of the American Dream. What an obvious recipe for disaster. In the words of PT Barnum : "There's a sucker born every minute". ...more

I'm divorced, deal

When I got divorced a few years ago, I thought long and hard about what was ahead — financially, romantically, etc. One thing I just didn't realize is how people would judge me and my kid, even if they weren't aware that they were doing it. ...more

And I wonder why I have this compulsive need to tell people even now that I'm happily remarried ...more


From about the age of 19 I knew that if I ever got pregnant I would have an abortion. This decision, this knowledge never made me sad or uncomfortable. I never felt as if I needed forgiveness or counseling. I never spent time considering that others might approve or disapprove. This had nothing to do with others. Even back then I knew that I didn’t want children. I considered that the effort ...more

The shame of consuming

Yesterday I had the most wonderful Japanese treat: A cake with my favourite red bean paste. I was imported from Japan, probably flown to Norway, and contemplating my priveledged posititon I felt thoroughly sad.   ...more

Oh yes, thank you, but the rape of Mother Earth is onging and very sad. We just use too much ...more

Preparation H?

This morning, when I got out of my car, I just happened to peer into the car beside me. A bright yellow box caught my eye. Taking another look, I noticed it was a box of Preparation H. Taking yet another look (this time with my camera) I snapped a picture for you: ...more

You know all the answers already!

I recently discovered Penelope Trunk’s blog, Brazen Careerist. It has a fantastic name, doesn’t it? She does, too. ...more

Why Do We Read?

I learned to read when I was two or three. There are family stories about this: That I taught myself to read. That when I was two - and a tiny child for two, at that - my mother brought me to the post office and I freaked everyone out by pointing at the door and reading, “Exit.” That by three, I was reading sentences (and after that there was no stopping me). I don’t think I taught myself to read exactly. I don’t know what happened; apparently I just sucked it in through my pores. I’ve met a lot of other people who had the same experience. ...more