To The Mom Whose Arms Are Empty: A Love Letter

The nursery is empty. There are gifts still piled in the corner, a hand-sewn blanket draped perfectly over the handed-down crib. A soft, brown bear with a blue ribbon tied smartly around his neck sits expectantly in the rocking chair. You stand at the threshold, numb with the enormity of it all, absentmindedly placing a protective hand over your belly which is still swollen from the space he held and stretched, wondering if the tears will ever stop. ...more
Thank you for this.more

My Little Light

"This little light of mine"  Grieving a child is not unlike mothering one.  It is an all consuming, never ending process.  However, rather than get to watch our child grow and make memories, we now must do that for them. "I'm gonna let it shine" The reality of their memory fading away is real and terrifying. The fact that they did live, that they did exist, that they mattered, is now your burden to carry forward.  It is a fight and for me almost an obsession. ...more
And it never will. That light is so real; it will lead you to a place where peace and wonder ...more

This shouldn't be happening..

Something has gone wrong.  Horribly wrong.  I should be looking at baby things. Soft, beautiful baby things.  Things with puppies and monkeys in pretty colors in soft fabrics that feel fuzzy and warm. Except I'm not. I'm looking at urns.  A fucking urn.  For a baby. MY baby.  Cold and hard things in metal and wood and marble.  This isn't right. This isn't fair. I hardly even had a chance to do those things. ...more
There are no words. In fact, there will be times when, although you know deep down people mean ...more

Survival of the Youngest

Early this week, when a four month old infant died in his sleep at a local daycare center, I cried.  I cried for the infant, for the family, and yes, for the woman who owned the business for 14 years without incident. Her photo was front and center on the first page of the paper. It showed her bent over on the ground, hands over her eyes, as another woman tried to console her....more

Your Baby Had Weight in this World: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I hope -- pray and wish and yearn -- that you don’t know what today is, because if you do, my heart breaks with and for you. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, one of those holidays where “happy” doesn’t work as a well-wishing for the day. A "wave of light" will happen tonight when parents of loss light a candle at 7PM in all time zones as we remember those babies that were ours for far too short a time. ...more
Charles Jeffrey Skyles, went to live with Jesus at 22 weeks, 03-24-2012more

But She Hates Tummy Time

“Is she rolling over yet?” I asked.  “Not yet,” she said.  “Are you giving her Tummy Time?” I asked.  “No, but she hates Tummy Time.  The moment I put her on her tummy, she starts to cry.  I can’t bear to see her cry.” She continued, “She really, real...more

Is there a link between flame retardants and SIDS?

Flame retardants may have a deadly side effect in children: the presence of flame retardants in crib mattresses have been linked as a cause of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. As the number one cause of death in children twelve months old and younger, SIDS kills an average of 2,500 infants each year.1...more

Breastfeeding, SIDS & Guilt - At what cost?

http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk Many parents are surprised to learn that not breastfeeding has been linked with increased rates of SIDS.  Despite it's importance, it is often never mentioned at antenatal classes or by Health Professionals; so one day I decided to ask one why. ...more

SIDS + Other things that terrified me as a new mom.

These are the things that terrify me on a daily basis:1. Dropping him.2. SIDS.3. Autism....more