How Do You Sleep At Night, Homeowners? No, Really; I'm Totally Serious.

A few years ago, we briefly toyed with the idea of purchasing a house. I have literally no idea how it happened, but one day, we were like, "Grown-ups ... buy ... houses. Yes? Right?" and the next day we were half-heartedly strolling through a series of homes. One had a purported "wine cellar" that, to us, looked much more like a lair in which a young lady might be urged to apply lotion on her skin, lest she get the hose again. There was no wine. NO WINE AT ALL. Only fear and mildew. ...more

Dogs. Very large slobbery dogs. I have 4 since we live on 100 acres out in the middle of ...more