A few years ago, we briefly toyed with the idea of purchasing a house. I have literally no idea how it happened, but one day, we were like, "Grown-ups ... buy ... houses. Yes? Right?" and the next day we were half-heartedly strolling through a series of homes. One had a purported "wine cellar" that, to us, looked much more like a lair in which a young lady might be urged to apply lotion on her skin, lest she get the hose again. There was no wine. NO WINE AT ALL. Only fear and mildew.
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