Daydreaming of Him

 Daydreaming of my late husband and musings on my marital rings....more
Hello there, Mrs TDJ! So happy to find you tonight, my fellow Marylander. I found you on the ...more


The holiday season can be tricky. Honestly, that nasty Grief Monster likes to hide in what should be the happiest days of the year – days where we should celebrate Christ and family.When a piece of your family is missing, buried, and gone, those special days don’t always seem so merry.I brainstormed with some of my favorite people – strong Mommies who have said goodbye to their precious children – and we’ve created a Survival Guide for the holiday season....more

The worst and the best of times.

We settled down.Her baby’s every new day taught us to relax. Loving her was so easy. She gave us so much joy; we were allowed to be happy around her.  By the time my son was born we had a grip on family gatherings!Our kids loved each others’ company. They redefined the term, ‘cousins’.Being her Mom was hard work.I tried to help out when we were together. ...more

The question.

‘Poor her.’ ‘Poor her.’They called her that.  As soon as her name was mentioned, the immediate response was ‘Poor her’. Even in the context of something comical or even positive, she was still ‘poor her’.Sometimes they called me “darlin’” but never poor. It was said so often that I didn’t even hear it. Bet she did. It wasn’t until I was nearly finished high school when someone asked why they call her that.I laughed.  It seemed such a comical observation... a silly question....more

The separation.

I was to stay with family friends, Mom told me.  Mom was going to stay at the hospital with her.It was a long week.  I wrote letters to them.  I was told she was ok.I waited and waited for the day I could go and visit. I missed them.  I couldn’t wait to tell her about everything she had missed.The room was full of beds.  Maybe ten beds on either side of the room.  Most of the beds were empty.  My eyes searched the room, looking for her face.  I didn’t see her.  I scanned the room again. ...more

The inevitable.

I could feel it coming.  I just knew it was never going to happen.  The melting asphalt was telltale.I could smell the chlorine but my stomach ached nervously.  If I just kept facing front – maybe, I could prevent the inevitable.Hurry up in there!  Let us in! But, even though I couldn’t see them, I could hear it starting; the concerned whispers, the stifled upset and then my name being called.We had to leave. She was sick.No swimming today. I hated her for always wrecking all the fun. ...more

The interference.

The wig was my Great Aunt’s idea.  She was rich.  She was from the city.  She lived in the United States.She purchased it and presented it to her like it was a brand new car.  It would fix everything. As far as my Aunt was concerned, the wig was the missing piece to a ‘normal’ life for her. The adults chatted excitedly. There was a mission to convince her of their mindset.“OOOOHHHH! Look how beautiful you are?”  She was taken to several mirrors to see her beauty....more

The girls.

Is that your Mom?It was never the question was the look on her face. You and your Mom can have a seat here.Can we?  Well, thanks, but, she is NOT my mother!  We are four years apart! Sometimes I wanted to scream at them.  These are my, “DAUW-GH-TERS”. Is that your son? God, it was confusing.  Adults...What do they mean? Are they stupid?“SHE HAS BOOBS!” I wanted to yell....more