Caution: Fragmented thoughts
Last week I cried in a complete
strangers arms. I had gone to cancel my gym membership to save money,
she asked the reason for the cancellation. I told her my son has
cancer, I saw her eyes well up at my pain, and I choked up, and found
my self in the embrace of a complete stranger.
This is a nightmare. I keep waiting for someone to nudge me, to wake me up, tell me I am having a bad dream.
The first time I had to leave my son overnight was difficult. He was eight months old and I had to attend an advocacy trip in Washington, DC for my job. I traveled to New York from Atlanta so that my mother could take care of him. I was nursing at the time and carried as much expressed milk as possible on the trip and also took along some formula for good measure. Although giving him formula was a rarity, I had to ensure that my mother was prepared in the event that my milk ran out.
I am the mother of an only child, a two year old little boy who I take with me on errands, to shows, everywhere. Although he is still in diapers we are in the midst of potty training and inevitably will have to stop on numerous occasions while out in public to use the restroom. It is widely acceptable for me to take my child of a different sex into the ladies room.The women's restrooms I've visited are generally equipped with changing tables for infants and no one has ever blinked when I am take him into a stall.
Between the vibrating cell phone calls, the urgent email messages on
your Blackberry, the constant bills, the ignored, yet loved DVR, the
non-stop solicitations via phone and mail…life not only gets
complicated, but also very overwhelming. We’re pushed and pulled in a
million directions on a daily basis.
My son's birthday was ten days ago and at two he is now officially a toddler. I've been warned that as he seeks his independence we may hit a rough patch or two. We are all familiar with the "terrible twos" but I have been convinced by my pediatrician to call this period the "teachable twos." I can deal with the change in his disposition because I realize that his behavior is perfectly normal for his age. My challenge is dealing with the surprises that throw me for a loop. The main one is his increased attachment to his father which translates into spending fewer precious moments with me.
My son will be two this week and he is already a seasoned traveler. His foray into the world of traveling began when he was still growing inside of me. He was a mere 14 weeks old when we attended my cousins wedding in the Dominican Republic. We were adventurous then, I galloped down a white sandy beach enjoying the dialogue our bodies shared with the strong bodied steed that I rode that day. I decided the risk was worth the reward because I had the foresight to believe that my next trip to a foreign country would be in the distant future.
A few months ago, my Dad had a heart attack... it was described as a very mild heart attack, and he ended up with no damage to his heart... of course, while he was in there for that, they found a tumor on his kidney. He then had surgery to remove the tumor (which the doctors said was almost surely cancerous). The surgery went well and, after testing the tumor, it actually turned out to be non-cancerous, anyway! He was very scared when he went into this surgery that he wasn't going to make it through, but he has since made a full recovery!