Remembering To Live

Jen @ www.afterthealter.com     Captain Awesome and I decided a little less than a year ago that we wanted to start a family....more

Ah, it appears as if we're blogging in step today! So well-said, Jen. I couldn't possibly ...more

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

*Title stolen appropriated from Oasis   I was pretty sure this month was THE month.  It wasn’t. ...more

How Infertility Has Hurt My Husband

Yesterday morning my husband, while drinking his coffee and reading his Facebook updates, let out a loud gasp....more

We don't hear nearly enough about how men are affected by infertility.  I think because ...more

Being Spontaneous (or not)

Jen @ www.afterthealter.com ...more

It is January 10th, 2010, do you know where your period is?

Oh, Faith.Are you really sitting here, thinking about writing this out? Yes, yes I am. Do I talk to myself like this frequently? Oh, sadly, yes. Nice first post there, oh, and further lame it up by mentioning it's your first post. I'm talking to myself, and it appears I am new to the internet. Sweet!I wonder how many can relate. It is approximately one day before the expected arrival of my period. I'm trying to conceive, or what they abbreviate on the ol' internet as TTC. I always thought that TTC sounded too much like it could be a fighting move....more

Nesting

It is difficult for me to fully articulate this season of “nesting” that I had entered into at the start of the year.  On the surface, I was simply focusing on a few of the things that I had been avoiding.  Things I had been putting off until pregnancy.  Like planning for a nursery.  And finding a new doctor.  And taking vitamins.  But these actions were superficial.  They were simply my surface response to what I was feeling in my heart. ...more

I've Been Down This Road Before

No sooner had I implemented the “nesting” philosophy in my life (whereby I was casually preparing myself and my home for children) than the doubts started creeping in.  After all, by this point I was hardly a novice at infertility.  I had well-developed defense mechanisms, and they were super-charged in the face of hope and openness.  ...more

Risky

Around this time, at the start of the year and in the midst of discovering my layers of pretense, a rather unorthodox idea had begun to grow in my mind and heart.  You see, after trying to get pregnant for over a year, I felt pressure to let go of my desire.  It was a philosophy reminiscent of the adage “release the thing you love and it will return to you.”  I felt this pressure because it seemed to be one of the universal rules of infertility--that once you let go of your expectations, etc., you can find yourself moving forward.  ...more

Pretense

It is December 30th, 2008--the turn of the year.  My husband and I have been officially “trying” to get pregnant for a year, and unofficially for over two.  Like most of us during this season, I am in the mood to exercise some hindsight--to reflect on 2008 and ponder the future year.   ...more

Interlude

An Infertility Observed has passed through six months of journaling since the original “peep show” entry, and it seems appropriate to pause for a reflective interlude.  Looking back, you’ve witnessed as I’ve slipped deeper and deeper into depression during this time.  I was “counting the days of my barrenness,” as I was often fond of saying.  One long day after the other.   ...more
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