In Their Own Words: Victims of Verbal Abuse Speak

The following are the words of women who have responded to my posts about verbal abuse. You can read the posts here and here. Some of these responses were comments in my blog posts and some of them were sent via emails. The desperation, helplessness, and self-blame are quite evident in these women’s responses. ...more
I recently left my verbally abusive marriage.  I stayed for 7 years.  The day my 5 year old ...more

Psychological Warfare of an Abusive Man

If you’ve never been involved with a conning, pathological lying, narcissistic man, you may not know what you’re dealing with. You may buy into his charm, braggadocio and phony façade. You may mistrust your instincts that your boyfriend is lying to you, or that your husband is demeaning and controlling you. Worse yet, you may think you are over-reacting and crazy—as he claims you are.Note to self: an abusive personality can be a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, male or female friend, family member, boss or co-worker. ...more

Could he be bipolar or is he just a jerk who's an emotional abuser?

 I was going to file for divorce in the summer of 2009...more
my own experience.... he wont change his attitude..... no matter what you do....more

Is my spouse verbally abusive or controlling? I've reached the end of my rope.

After this weekend I decided it might help me if I started sharing the things my other half says to me that I question whether or not are abusive and/or controlling.  It’s really hard because he does have some good qualities and I tend, at times, to let those overshadow what I suspect are the not-so-good qualities.  I’m made to think that these things happen because of me.  In fact, I’ve been told “if you would just listen to what I tell you” or “if you would do what I tell you” or (and this one makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck) “if you wouldn’t talk back all th...more
Your story is so much like mine. If you look up "narcissistic" in the dictionary , you have my ...more

Guilt and Shame: The Vicious and Escalating Cycle

To read my complete blog: I left childhood with a great deal of guilt and shame. I was abused as a child and my experience never validated. Adults involved decided to handle things within the family and not expose the perpetrators, though they abused me and my female cousins in much the same way. The situation and the aftermath were handled despicably....more

Not Living Like My Mom

How do you heal as a person when your Mother tells you that you're worthless?  That you're not smart, not pretty, not worth spending time or money on?  How do you, 30 years later, become a loving, forgiving, understanding and supportive human being yourself, with that kind of beginning? My Mom never completed college, but her dream had been to become a judge.  In my childhood, she made her dream come true.  My sister and I were summoned into the living room after she had considered our "crimes" (letting the neighbor's cat in, reading "Gone with the Wind...more

Thanks, Jennifer. I did get lots of therapy, and I'm doing so well. I always "pre-post" before ...more

Did He Ever Feel Like a Monster?

It was 3am, and she laid awake with her mind busied in thought. The house was silent except for the gentle hum of the furnace and the sweet sounds of breathing flowing through the monitor. She wanted to go in there and hold him tightly. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry. ...more

This post is a heartwrenching story that holds so much reality for so many people. Thanks for ...more

Words Can Hurt, Too

As someone who used to work in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault, perhaps I have stronger radar as it pertains to healthy relationships and anger management and communication skills. But, I continue to be concerned by the number of women who find themselves in abusive relationships and don't realize it. Why don't they realize it? Because the abuse isn't coming in the form of physical or sexual abuse, it's coming in the form of verbal abuse. And, it seems that a great many people continue to either deny or at least not see, that verbal ...more

Madonna Verbally Abused? Is No One Safe?

Can I just say: Oh My God! Is no one safe? Even taking into consideration that Madonna and her lawyers are preparing her custody case and are building her husband up as an abusive man—Oh My God! Madonna claiming that she was verbally abused. Is no woman safe? Or, why are so many men incapable of dealing with strong, independent women—one at a time, of course? From the Mail Online, October 17: ...more

I was married for 21 years. I did not take the decision to end my marriage lightly, but there ...more

On Being a Smart, Independent, Emotionally-Abused Woman

“But is he mean to you?” my friend asks when I tell her that I am changing my last name back to my maiden name after my divorce.  “What do you mean?” I ask back, not wanting to think that she may be implying that if he hasn’t hit me, then he hasn’t been mean to me.  ...more

I have often said, to myself, that if he hit me, I could have him arrested, and I ...more