Evolution of the Heart

The grieving process; its like trying to make water do what you want it to. It's all over the place is it's liquid state. Like an ocean wave or a babbling brook, we can look at it, touch it, but in the end, it all just seem to run through our fingers when we try to make it do what we want it to do. Grief and Water; The fascinating thing about them both is their miraculous ability to change forms. Some times through the changes, beautiful ice sculptures or amazing cloud formations are born....more

I'm not a Throw-away!

Well, I am an empty nester for awhile now, and about 6 years ago I also became a Widow.I thought becoming an empty nester would be life with my partner and now we can stop sacrificing so much for our kids sake and spend a little one on one, with each other!  That didn't work out to good....more

The Sisterhood of the Sacred Women Tribe

Welp.  The sun came out Saturday for a while.  We were able to wear shorts and flip flops.  The Kentucky muthas were here, and we conducted sacred patio meetings while the sun’s healing energies swirled around us.  Good times, folks.If your ears were burning, it’s because we were talking about you.  If it’s a problem that affects the Sisterhood of the Sacred Women tribe, then you better believe it is important to us and we are hell bent on fixing it....more

Cest la vie

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Divorce is Like Death, and Other Sayings That Make Me Punch You

I think at some point we’ve all heard the phrase, “Divorce is like death.”  I probably have stupidly even uttered this phrase, at some point in my life.  However, you may have noticed there aren’t a whole lot of bereaved people standing around at funerals going, “It’s ok, this is just like a divorce.”  I understand that there is sadness and even trauma associated with a marriage ending, a family being torn apart, etc.  Part of your life does ‘die.’  But let’s get real here, people.  Because if another one of you going through a divorce exclaims to me that you w...more

Slaying the Ninja

The bitch is alive, ya hurd? ...more

Day 2 or Day 366?

We returned home yesterday.  I always hate leaving the beach.  I feel as though I leave a part of my soul there.  I watch my boys, how they love the water, how they instantly relax in the ocean, and it feels good knowing we are creating memories of a beautiful summer.  We have been so happy this summer.  We have stayed busy.  We haven’t had many boring days at all.  Just love.  A lot of damn love.  I’m not kidding.  I’m so proud of these kids.  These kids who have grown up too fast.  These kids who have had to process way too m...more

D-Day

D-Day I couldn’t do it.  I can’t post the note.  I wrote it and timed it to post at 5:08, and then my top advisors told me “no the fuck way.”  Various reasons.  It’s too personal, it’s not right, it’s between us, save it for the book.  I love my friends, I’ve been friends with some of these muthas since the tender age of 5, and I respect that right ...more

A Widow's Point of View, Part II

A few more things my friend wished to share.  Some of these I knew to do, others never crossed my mind.  I admire her strength and her willingness to share what she's learned during this difficult time.1.  If you have a safety deposit box, where is the key?2.  Take index cards and notate what goes to whom around the house.  Include a picture.3.  Make sure your living will is on file with both your doctor and your local hospital....more

A Widow's Point of View

This post is written to reflect the thoughts and feelings of a dear friend who was recently widowed.  The statements are hers with some minor editing on my part.  Not every sentiment expressed applies to every widow or widower or to every situation, but they are all reasons to stop and think. She began her message to me with the words:  "What NOT to do when a friend loses a spouse."1.  Don't start out by asking how he died and especially not where he died....more