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Hi! I'm the mama of three beautiful daughters, one of whom joined our family through international adoption. I'm a writer, an editor and a blogger. I...

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A savvy, page-turning novel about a woman torn between her husband and the man she thought she'd marry. Stay tuned for The First Husband!

 
 

Friendship is the Key to Getting to Happy

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I never read Waiting to Exhale . I never saw the movie. Now, after reading Terry McMillan's sequel, I’m thinking I missed out on something special. In Getting to Happy, McMillan has introduced me to four women living lives that are much like mine -- messed up, complicated, confusing… and wonderful.

Gloria, Bernadine, Robin and Savannah are confronting menopause, infidelity, death, job loss, addiction and kids. As I read the book, it almost seemed as if I should ask what wasn’t going to go wrong, because so much did go wrong. And yet, this wasn’t a depressing book. These four spirited women reacted much the way I or my friends would have -- they cried, they fell apart and they leaned on each other. Then they figured out what the next step needed to be and they took it.

Life is like that. It throws curveballs. It’s rarely what we expect. It’s almost never what we want. With the support of the people who love us -- the people who love us the most -- life is still an amazing journey that strengthens you and takes you in directions you might not have had the courage to journey toward without a push. If that ‘push’ is more of a ‘shove’ that tumbles you over a few cliffs, well, that’s life.

Our friends are the people who love us in spite of ourselves. In Getting to Happy, Gloria, Bernadine, Robin and Savannah see each other’s faults and love each other still. I find myself curious to learn what events happened more than a decade ago, in Waiting to Exhale , to give them that base of friendship. I’m going to have to pick up the book and find out.

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mamainjammies 5 pts

Oh, I completely agree! The best friendships are exactly like marriages - there has to be a willingness to go through the good and the bad. And they loved each other despite their weaknesses.

Rita Arens 10 pts

Was how easily they were able to get mad at each other and be honest about how hard it was to be friends with each other and still be friends with each other. Twenty-year friendships can go through rough patches just like twenty-year marriages, but when you make it out the other side, there's definitely a different kind of bond, a responsibility to each other that these women clearly shared and respected.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy ( http://bit.ly/Qp0sS ) and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.