The Fuckit List. A Bucket List For Sex!

There are a number of things I want to try before I go, some I discuss openly with friends, others I keep very much to myself (societal pressures, I don't need what few friends I have thinking I am that weird). As I get older, I come to the realization that there are things I will no longer be able to try, my window of opportunity having slammed shut (then been nailed and the frame painted). Now, I am not old (Qualifier Alert: In my mind I am still 18. For the rest of me, that's debatable) but there are a few things that are better left to the younger crowds like back packing across Europe, rap battles or a San Francisco Flip.

I'm Not Getting Any Younger

But that doesn't mean there aren’t things I still want to do. In fact, there are things I can do now that a younger person maybe shouldn’t try (like a Prostate exam or Geritol). If this sounds like a bucket list, you’re right, but this is a sex and relationship site so let’s call it my ‘fuckit’ list. My fuckit list contains all the things I want to do sexually that I have yet to attempt.

Forget 'Normal'

Up to now, I’ll be willing to bet most people have led a fairly ‘normal’ sex life. Some may have experimented a bit but for the most part, there would be few surprises. However, deep in the recesses of their minds, EVERYONE has at least one thing they really want to try but are too shy, afraid, reserved, (insert your adjective here) to actually do it for real. I'll even go as far as to say there is probably more than just one thing you want to try but haven't yet, for whatever reason.

The idea of a fuckit list might even strike some as being depraved but it’s really not. It’s not about how sick or twisted you can become, it’s about those things you want to try but haven’t yet. That’s the beauty of it, you set your own list. More important then what’s on it is that you actually have one. Yeah, that’s right, make a fuckit list. List every sexual desire that has ever intrigued you.

Do It Now!

ChecklistStop reading this article, open your word processor and write down everything you have been curious about. Hell, feel free to include things you have already tried but want to try again or you screwed up the first time and want another shot at. Don't edit the list or judge it, just do it. Once it is done, read it and check off, bold face, highlight, (insert the appropriate annotation style) only those things you would actually be willing to try. (Wait, how do you know to do this if you stopped reading and are creating your list? You're still reading, aren't you? Go make your list THEN come back).

Believe me, there are things on my list that will NEVER make it to print. They are my curiosities and if I ever get the opportunity, the only people who need know will be myself and those involved (that’s right, I said those).

Why? Why do this? Two reasons. The first, why not? What is it that prevents you from at least intellectually exploring your sexual self? Making the list is your controlled, private way to begin a sexual adventure that need not go any further than the page upon which you are writing. It's your imagination, enjoy it!

You Might Surprise Yourself

GnomeWhich brings us to reason number two; you might just surprise yourself. You may find there are things you want that you have held back trying. Heaven forbid you actually let yourself enjoy sex. There are enough stresses in this world, why not indulge yourself every now and again and truly be you. Again, it doesn't have to be some monumental list. It's your list. Maybe you just want to come home and have your significant other naked by the fireplace with a drink in one hand, dimmed lights and soft music playing. Maybe you want to have that special someone in your life 'pick you up' at a bar and bring you to a motel. It doesn't have to be about violating stuffed garden gnomes or making love on the 55 yard line of a football stadium during a semi-final game (quick reference: 55 yard line is CFL [my preferred football, sorry]). And if it does include either or the above, more power to you.


It's your list. Of course, our legal department requires that I remind everyone NOT to engage in anything illegal in the pursuit of your pleasure but I fully encourage everyone to definitely pursue your pleasures. Tick off as many on your list as you can and those you can't, well, enjoy the fantasy of them. One of my items is a harem (not that I could afford one or would know what to do with one but hell, it's my fantasy).

Break Out The Props and Costumes!

Of course, for some of you the next BIG thing is having a partner that is willing to entertain the notion of helping you complete your list. For this I have only two words of advice: patience and imagination. You should know your partner well enough to know what they will and will not do. It may take some imagination on your part (as well as a few props and costumes) but there is no reason why you can't TRY. One of the best quotes I ever heard is “twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you DIDN'T do." So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. It applies as much to your sex life as it does anywhere else.

Do Tell Toy With Mes ...

Do you have a fuckit list? Have you shared your list with your partner? Do you have ideas you'd love to act upon but never have? What's holding you back?

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Image Credits

1 Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at

2 Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at

3 Image courtesy of Simon Howden at

4 Image courtesy of adamr at

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