FYI an Open Letter to Mothers of Teenage Boys

Yesterday, one of our  friends posted this article, which is in itself an open letter to young girls everywhere that insist on taking scandalous selfies and plastering them on the internet. While we do acknowledge that the youth of today is becoming increasingly sexualized, what comes off as a caring and concerned voice of reason is really, upon further examination, slut- shamey and misogynist. And we don’t like that.

So here is OUR open letter to “Mrs. Hall”, who seems to really love to contradict herself by posting pictures of her sons half- naked in a post about keeping your clothes on (and then, of course, reposts the same article with different pictures because everyone called her out on it):

Hey, Mrs. Hall:

At first we were torn about your blog post. We agree that young girls shouldn’t feel the need to post half- naked pictures of themselves in order to feel legitimized, but then, who wasn’t a young attention seeker at one point? Something didn’t sit well with us when we were reading, though, and it goes beyond your weird decision to include pictures of your sons (half naked and flexing) on the beach. But hey, we have kids too, and we like to show them off, so whatever; everyone else already pointed out how silly that was.

Here’s our advice on how to deal with the fact that women exist in the same world as your sons: Maybe instead of just blocking the pictures you deem “provocative”, you need to have an open discourse with your sons about respecting women. This “boys will be boys” attitude is, quite frankly, crap. Just because you block the pictures doesn’t mean you are blinding them to provocative images. You can’t control what they see when you’re not around. Teaching them how to handle what they see and their emotions is key. You are very naive if you think blocking out the world is the solution. It is only going to lead to problems down the road.

The idea that “boys can’t control themselves, please don’t be sexually attractive” is preposterous. Do you think your sons will never see a girl who is attractive? Or sexually arousing? Do they stare at the ground when a pretty girl walks by? And if they do see a physically appealing girl, are they responsible for their actions towards them? Because news flash: teens have hormones, and they are going wild. The idea that men can’t control themselves is not only insulting to men, but contributes to rape culture, something we definitely don’t need more of. “Boys will be boys” is the worst saying that has ever been invented, next to “the customer is always right”. 

The idea, by the way, that women are not physically attracted but rather run on emotional connection is absurd and insulting. Is this 1950? You need to check your audience, because they are biased, bigoted, and disgusting. Some of the comments you received are shocking in their idiocy. Do people like this really exist in the world? Because that is scary.

You could probably do well to stop shaming young women who post pictures, especially if they’re old enough to make those decisions for themselves. Yes, our youth is sexually precocious, but shaming is never the way to get them to see that they’re not objects; in fact, it’s just solidifying the idea that the only reason women are on Earth is to be visually pleasing, like a prop. You seem fairly into Jesus, perhaps you should go by his example of “Love Thy Neighbor”, a golden rule most Christians seem so easily to forget.

They’re not your daughters– I mean we know they may stain your precious boys’ souls, but get a grip. We’re willing to bet your sons are very embarrassed by your helicopter- shame- patrol. We would be. And if you think men of integrity don’t linger over young, attractive girls, then honey, we just don’t know. And on that note, if they did have this “integrity”, you wouldn’t have to block the images, because they wouldn’t be interested.

Teach your sons respect, how to deal with women with respect and dignity. That’s all we can do as parents. This is not a man’s world. We are all equal. Stop whining about young girls and their selfies and have your sons write a 50 page essay on slut- shaming and the equality of women in today’s world.

Jesus Saves,

Kolleen and Letty

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