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When we are in the thick of frustration, struggle, fighting, or feeling beaten down by life, it can be easy to lose perspective. But when we can steal away for a moment to step back and look at where we have come from and how far we have traveled, the view can be amazing.
Recently, I took some blows. I've dealt with drive-bys and the pain of misunderstandings that can follow from the limits of 140 characters. This required me to focus on being impenetrable and puffing up my chest so the bullets could bounce off the imaginary capital "S" covering my soul. After a while, I could take my suit of armor off and breathe. And in that space, I saw that I might just have reached a spot where I could leave that suit of armor by the side of the road and continue my journey.
BlogHer CE Mata H. wrote about finding clues in the stories we create and the music we hum. I've found myself humming the song "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera:
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
I am impressed with how strong I have become. I can see the hard work I've done paying off. I am better able to own what is mine and let others carry the baggage that is theirs. I need not be their bellhop.
These lessons are useful and allow me to gain perspective on other situations. Much as I try not to, I still catch myself occasionally nursing a broken heart. On other days, it is a frustrated spirit that clutches at my chest and tries to prevent me from leaving my bed.
I see how I can apply the feeling of becoming the stronger fighter Christina sang about. If I can be a warrior in one arena, I can bring the fight to others. It's OK if my heart sometimes pangs and tugs for what I once dreamed. I remember some of the amazing things I've seen along the scenic route and am impressed by the length of my winding road. I look forward to how much more there is to travel. When I might want to wallow, I can remember all those times I've gotten up instead to move on and march forward.
I am reminded of the book by Iyanlya Vanzant titled The Value in the Valley. She writes about passing through valleys in order to reach the peaks. When we reach the heights, we can look back and see what we learned by slogging through the troughs. We can appreciate how much easier the next mountain will be to climb now that we better know how to make the trek.
Christina Aguilera - Fighter
So, thank you life, evil ex-boyfriends and mean people on the Internet for the valleys, the work and the perspective. "Thanks for making me a fighter."
How do you gain perspective? What life lessons have taught you to see past the tough bits to how much stronger you've become?
Related Reading:
Ashley as Aurora: Moving On
I learned that it’s okay to be sad, angry, frustrated, and even happy because all of those feelings come with a break-up. I learned that I don’t need to cry over a boy just because he doesn’t like me. I learned to call my mom when I’m sad and she will always make me feel better. I learned that even though I was used to talking to him for hours each day, I could easily modify that habit and spend more time with my co-workers. I learned that the mornings are usually the hardest for me, but if I can push through, the rest of the day will get better. I learned that I enjoy watching The Bachelor and American Idol by myself and sipping a glass of wine. I learned that I love running on the treadmill while listening to Black Eyed Peas and that it’s a great way to release pent up emotions. I learned that having your best friend come visit for the weekend will make you a million times happier. I learned that crushes on new boys are a fun distraction, especially when they take you to get ice cream when they find out you
