Gendered Frustration and Worry for My Boy

I'm glad my boys were born 16 & 17 years ago... thankfully we didn't have the internet and widespread controversy of every little thing!  I have pics of my now big buff 17 year old sports loving fanatic in dresses, necklaces and heels  because he had a big sister who loved to play dress up:)  I never worried about it at all.

Recently at a playdate with a mixed number of boys and girls the same age, the boys paired off at first and the girls did. And then one boy crossed ranks (to play with his sister) and then another boy followed. And soon they were all running through the house, multi-gendered toys in hand, screaming at the tops of their lungs and having a blast. Boys had dolls. Girls had trucks. All were outrageously loud. It made me smile.

I just wanted to share that I was really irritated recently when my daughter decided she "needed" a Phineas and Ferb shirt and pjs.... preferably with Perry on them. It took me forever to find them on the Disney store site... since they're all listed under "boys shirts" and "boys pajamas". The only ones in the "girl" categories were of Candace. Can't they just have a category that has "Kids shirts" and skip the girl/boy for certain sites? Or just include the stuff in both categories?

Completely agree! I think we all should try to comment more. I think we are so surrounded by this gender stereotyping crap that people stop thinking about it and people really get scared that there is a right and a wrong. We were at a toddler birthday party and my son was playing on a purple princess scooter and a couple different people told him to get off or he'd turn into a sissy. I was floored, but responded with a smile and a laugh and said to the effect that it was okay and the reasons why. And then they were okay with it too. My permission and confidence for my children to play with different toys seemed to allow others to let go of their rigidity. At least I hope so. I sure don't want my children shamed by anyone for doing things that are healthy, creative and developmentally a-okay.

agreed. i find the gender boxes for kids getting more rigid over the last few years as well: we're marketed to as if the differences were real and natural and i wonder if we're starting to believe it.

whereas if you look at the ads - for LEGO, for instance - from our own childhoods: toys were sold largely in primary colours and emphasized creativity. kids in ads in those days mostly wore jeans and tshirts, whatever their gender. even the early videos of the Olsen Twins at five and six and seven: they're wearing pants and tights in green and brown as much if not more than they're wearing pink frills. but we forget, because what we're inundated with comes to seem just...normal.

and i think in the process we do our kids a disservice. not just because we make "normal" an ever-smaller and more gender-extreme box, thus emphasizing the same stereotypical behaviours we then lament then having when it comes to school performance, but b/c we limit their access to creative play and imagination when we buy into the super-boxed toys and the messages that go with them.

but i find it hard hard hard to counter those messages, these days.

I think that would be a great Facebook comment to make. If the mom is feeling weird about hearing the meanish ones, it would probably be helpful for her.

I had never even thought about the issue with a shirt that said "mama's boy." This stuff is everywhere, and I appreciate parents like you who let their kids explore the things they love and appreciate without the gender assignation that is rampant before babies are even born.