I have now been to two yoga classes in two days. This is helping me so much, I knew all along it is what I needed. The calmness of mind that I get through yoga doesn't come to me so easily when I am not practising yoga. I would rather this than be struggling, people suggesting that to cope with my son I need to see a counsellor or take antidepresants.
I have the energy to deal with his unusual ways, because I do something many people think is odd, yoga in a 110 fahrenheit room.

I have a meeting tomorrow, social services support meeting. The social worker suggested I write down things my son does, but it just looks all the more ridiculous if I do that.
He ties things up, puts things in lines, whole lines of piles of clothes, one set for each day, squawks, repeats words like an echo gradually fading away, or like an echo which rhymes rather than echoes. It is true I have been told he will find the world increasingly hard to fit into, increasingly scary and bewildering (maybe why he runs off - it is too scary to cope with) He is neat and tidy, been able to tie knots since about 2 years old, been climbing since 8 months old, on tables and chairs.
I will keep practising the 'scary yoga' going beyond my comfort zone, so I have the energy mentally and emotionally to help my son go beyond his comfort zone, and reassure his siblings that I am here for all of them.
It is true what a leap of faith it is to have children, as you do from the day of their birth have your heart living outside your body.