Getting Dumped Sucks : How Juicy Women Deal With It

There’s no other way to say it:  when someone breaks up with you it absolutely bites especially if it wasn’t mutual. Break-ups happen to everyone, even the most self-confident and fabulous women. When it's your turn, I bet this is what hurts the most:

1)      You’ve been dumped. I know, hard to believe but for some reason that guy is deluded and thinks he can find someone better. Scratch that: he believes he can find someone who is more willing to put up with his crap. How dare he treat your heart like a meaningless accessory?

2)      The silence and aloneness. God the hours drag on…especially when you have one eyeball on your phone at all times to see if he has texted or called. (How is it that men can easily not return texts/calls?) Soon the silence starts screaming “YOU ARE ALONE!!! “. You hear every little noise in the house and you think you’re going nuts.

3)      Rollercoaster emotions. Face it, the break- up of a relationship is a death. It’s the loss of a dream and of possibilities. You will probably grieve as if it were a death. Anger, shock, denial, sadness and depression can come and go like the tide. Let’s not forget the bargaining part which is the worst. You have thoughts like “Well, maybe I could have given in and compromised my dreams for him.  Maybe I can’t live without him. Maybe he will totally die without me and beg to have me back.” News flash: it either never happens or it never lasts.

4)      Fear of the future. You know this one. You wonder what you are going to do now. The thought of dating either makes you sad (no one is as good as him) or irate (how dare he put me in this position AGAIN!). Overwhelming dread and disbelief best describes this stage.

5)      Seeing him move on. It is a time-tested mystery of the Earth: WHY OH WHY does he ALWAYS go out and start being the man you wanted him to be now that you’ve broken up? Men always start going to the gym, get a haircut, read a book, go on vacation or take up a hobby post-breakup.  It’s so frustrating. I do not know if it is a way for him to get revenge or what. Either way, you end up feeling like you have just created the perfect man and that some other chick will benefit from your effort.

What juicy women (aka YOU) can do about it

1)      Eat cake. Yes. Eat cake or ice cream or drink loads of green juice or whatever makes you feel good. The point is to indulge yourself. Make yourself a lovely dinner. Have some wine (if it’s not against your program). Wear whatever is comfortable to you. You deserve it.  You can be lovely just by your adorable self.

2)      Take a lesson from him. Kick in Operation Reinvention.  Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Once I took up scuba diving and met many fantastic friends that way. I also took up boxing (an amazing way to get in shape and work out aggression). Go on a vacation, do your hair, whatever you have been putting off now is the time to do it.

3)      Meet BOB. Either dust off your battery operated boyfriend or go get yourself one. There is an adult store in my city that is very female friendly. There are women working there who are helpful and who make your shopping as comfortable as possible. If you don’t have a friend to go with you, go by yourself. Alternatively you can buy a BOB (really not called that in a store FYI) online. You must keep your mojo going even if you are by yourself. You need and deserve glow now more than ever.

4)      Write it out. Writing or journaling helps. Say whatever you want on paper instead of texting him. You will feel better.

5)     Focus on your pleasure everyday. Listen, as a member of the female tribe I am here to tell you that you are an adorable, fabulous, juicy, glorious goddess by nature.  Now, get off your ass and go look in the mirror. Notice your beauty. Turn on some music and dance! Have fun! Do whatever brings pleasure to you. This crappy situation requires a pleasure intervention as an anecdote.

You got this. You can do it. I promise….now go on with your bad self!!



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