Getting out the Meat Cleaver

A few weeks ago, I went to a single dad event held by a non-profit organization I'm partnering with for future workshops. Upon leaving, all the single parents were given gifts to take home, some were food items. I was given a large package of hamburger patty meat. As I left, the lady handing the food to me said, "Just stick it in the freezer." When I got home, in typical A Clueless Mom fashion, that's EXACTLY what I did.

I was deciding what to make for dinner tonight when my mom suggested eating some of that hamburger. That's a great idea...or so I thought. The SIX pounds of hamburger patties were frozen together. Well, I certainly didn't NEED to defrost SIX. Dang. Pounds of hamburger. So, what was I going to do?

Well, why don't we just cut off what we need for tonight? After all, we don't need that much. Just cut it off with four patties in each bundle, like you would slice a piece of bread. A really, really, REALLY HARD, FROZEN-FOR-A-YEAR kind of bread.

My mom thought she would do the honors. She takes the meat outside and sits on her swing. You know the wooden porch swings that were big in the 1980's? Yes, THAT swing. She started out with just a regular large knife...as if that would EVEN make a dent it in. I step inside.

After ten minutes, I return with freezer bags and see flecks of meat on a rug she now has under the meat. A little progress has been made. When I say, "A little," what I mean is useless! She's only gotten about 1/4 of the way done with the first one. She then asks for a "saw" knife out of her wooden block of knives. I reply, "You mean a serrated knife?"

"Just one that will saw through something."

Oh okay, as if sawing through that frozen brick is that easy, but okay.

In the kitchen, I look in the wooden block, pulling out all the knifes, looking for a "saw" one. Since several of them look alike, I decide to read the name of them (if all else fails, read). I finally find one that says, "Saw," surprisingly enough. I take it to her. As I leave again, she gets hard at work.

I return a few minutes later. This time actual progress has been made. She is on the second bundle. So at least she finished one. YAY! How long is this process going to actually take? Her hand is cramping, so I ask if I can take over. She quickly agrees.

She leaves, and I saw away realizing it's not as easy as I might have thought. The stupid thing is not budging. I make a small dent all the way around the patties. Then my mom comes out and says, “You’ve made NO progress.”

“Yes, I did. I cut around the whole thing."

She shows me yet another knife....A MEAT CLEAVER. She says, "I'll do this," referring to using the meat cleaver on the hamburger.

I quickly get up and say, "My pleasure."

I walk inside waiting to see how long THIS one will take. Within five minutes, she walks in with the rest of the bundles cut. Why the HECK did we not THINK of THAT to begin with? Stupid! We both laugh!

Sometimes things are just not as easy as they first appear to be. Welcome to MOMHOOD!

If you don't succeed at something the first time, try again. If you still don't succeed, maybe it's the tools you’re using, the way you are going about it, or your perspective. You might need FRESH eyes on it. DON'T GIVE UP! Sooner or later, you WILL do it. Just keep trying. If you fall down seven times, get up eight.

And sometimes, you just have to use a meat cleaver. Meaning sometimes, you just have to take out the big guns. Go for broke. Go for it all. Go BIG or go HOME! JUST DO IT! No matter what it takes, JUST DO IT! Soon, you will have SUCCESS!

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