I’ve officially reached “that age”. Pretty much every conversation I have with my girlfriends these days devolves into talk of babies–whether we want them, when to have them, how many to have, how to raise them, etc.. Ah, the joys of aging. Having kids isn’t an “if” for me–my husband and I know that we want children… someday. We’re just not sure when that someday will be. We want to be sure to have all of our ducks in a row before we take such a huge step in our lives. That’s the smart way to do things, right?

We’re both 30, so we’ve had more than a decade of adult freedom to do what we want, when we want, and how we want. That makes the prospect of bringing into the world a tiny person who will require and demand all of our time, attention, and resources absolutely terrifying. This is in stark contrast to most of my cousins, who had children in their teens. They were parents before they were finished being children. They never got to go to college–or in some cases, prom. They raised kids while working multiple jobs, often doing backbreaking manual labor. They scraped by as best they could. It was HARD, but they did it because they had no choice.

On the other hand, you have my husband and me, who are very financially secure, have substantial savings, have a solid marriage, and are totally convinced that we’re “not ready”. Worse, we don’t know when we’ll BE ready. We finally decided that we’ll probably start a family whenever our friends in the area start having kids. We figured that it’s just as good a time as any, because feeling “ready” will probably never come.

The great baby debate got me thinking about other things I put off because I’m “not ready”–like writing a book, for example. I’ve always wanted to be an author (still kind of up in the air as to whether that would be creative writing or some kind of nonfiction). I daydream about it, talk about it, think about it–hell, I even WRITE about wanting to be a writer. But I always come back to the same internal refrain: “The time’s not right. I need to wait until we have kids/I have more time/we buy a house/we pay off my student loans/move out of the area/I become a teacher and have summers off to write/we win the lottery/aliens land. I just need to get my ducks in a row before I can get started.”

Well, screw the damn ducks!

I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that the time is never going to be “right” for me to make a serious effort at living my dream. I will never feel “ready”. Those voices telling me to wait until I have my ducks in a row aren’t “smart” voices–they’re the voices of fear, insecurity, apathy, indecision, and self-doubt. 

A recent article by Slade Roberson described this self-defeating chain of thought: “I’m stuck at A and want to get to Z. As soon as I know what Steps C through Y are — as soon as I make sure Steps C through Y are there for me — I’ll happily proceed to Step B. That’s the responsible, logical, safe way to proceed.” Slade believes that Step C and Step D don’t even exist until you pick up your foot and take Step B. I tend to agree.

My awesome personal cheerleader, Kelli, recently sent me the Writer’s Market, a compilation of resources and opportunities for paid writing. (Thanks Kelli!!) So here’s what I’m going to do (and I need you all to hold me accountable for this because I’m as slippery as an eel when it comes to talking myself out of things)–I’m going to pick a writing project from that book, post about it, and set a deadline for completing and submitting it. If I don’t complete the project, I will send $20 to each and every one of you who calls me on it. It may seem silly, but I need to know that there’s a negative consequence to not following through on this.

What have you been waiting to start until your ducks are in a row? What step can you take to get started RIGHT NOW? What can you do to hold yourself accountable?