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Our nineteen-year-old daughter, through no fault of her own, has gone through a very difficult four years. Last week she received the following email from my brother who yesterday celebrated the 21st anniversary of his liver transplant. As he is not one to give advice or dwell on the negative, his words were especially meaningful to her:
"You got hit with a lot of things one after another and have been going through post traumatic stress syndrome. Believe me I, like your parents, wish you could have been spared all the heartache but at the same time, you've been given an early lesson in the realities of life and maybe that's not so bad. The beautiful things in life and the kindness of others become more special when you know how dark the flip side can be. I know. I really was given a gift when I got sick at a young age. It all happened before you were born but I was pretty bad off. Three of my doctors told me I was going to be dead before I was thirty. Well, they were wrong. I went through hell for ten years but I learned to leave the past in the past, live in the moment and treasure every day. I think you have gained that wisdom and are on that path, too."
- Love,
UB (Uncle Burge)
On this anniversary which brought tragedy to one family and joy to another, please consider organ donation. You will never know the far-reaching effects of such a gift...
The Gift of Life (written November 30, 2010)
Dear Family Who Gave the Gift of Life,
There is nothing I can possibly say to lessen your grief, but in this world where lives are intertwined in inexplicable ways, I thought I'd share my story.
We now know that my brother probably had undiagnosed hepatitis in college that went on to permanently scar the bile ducts, which led to his liver. By the time he was in his twenties it was determined that he would eventually require a liver transplant. Back in the 1980's, liver transplants were still in their infancy and his doctors urged my brother to stay as healthy as possible, for as long as possible, in order to delay a transplant and, hopefully, buy time for transplantation methods to be perfected.
By 1990, my brother, who functioned in a constantly unhealthy jaundiced state and was hospitalized much of the time, could wait no longer and he was placed on the infamous organ donor waiting list. At the time, our son was a year old; my brother had just turned thirty. He was hospitalized at Yale-New Haven Hospital when the call came that a matching liver was available and he was flown to Omaha for the transplant.
As much as we coveted this life-giving organ, it was a bittersweet time, for we were well aware that its availability meant tragedy for another family. The organ donation process, understandably, is anonymous, but we did learn that my brother received the liver from a sixty-five year old man in St. Louis. We were never able to thank the family.
Today, my forty-nine year old brother is a professional musician and has toured the world sharing music with countless people. As someone who has faced death, he has an incredible appreciation of life and savors each day. He never had children of his own, but he has passed this enthusiasm, passion and happiness on to our two children. He has always made a point of reaching out to young musicians and actors and tries to help them get that first big break. He doesn't think about things like 401K's or waste time on nonsense. He chooses to live and grow through joy. Although he is my brother, I can honestly say that his life has made a difference in this world. It would not have been possible without organ donation.
Our story probably won't ever reach that family in St. Louis. There is no way to ever express our gratitude. Organ donation transcends the artificial boundaries of race, religion, and nationality we often impose on each other. The life and love of a donor lives inside every transplant recipient. To all who celebrate life, organ donation is part of the chain of life. Love and compassion go on and on.
Velya Jancz-Urban 11/30/2010 and 2/13/2012
www.chicapeeps.com
I blog at 'Peep Into My Life'
