Gimme the Ball
Good morning! I used to play a lot of sports. As a soccer center midfielder and basketball point guard, I was the one who set up my teammates to score. I certainly found the goal and net on my own, but it was most important for me to set up the play, see the passing lanes and distribute. The forwards would finish.
Something that stands out in my mind, so much so that I've been meditating on it lately, is the vocal power with which me and my fellow athletes would call for the ball. Allow me to illustrate with words:
BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! BALL BALL BALL BALL!!!! I'M OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE HERE, YES, NOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! GIMME THE BALL, GIMME THE BALL, GIMME THE BALL!!!!
That last one is from A Chorus Line. :) There was such authority, assurance and inspired demand, the likes of which I occasionally struggle to incorporate into my own career pursuits, which is why I'm blogging on the topic today. And incorporate I must!! Why? Because if I don't ask or in some cases demand to be heard, seen, and given an opportunity, then guess what? The opportunity will be given to someone else who does. I can say that after living in NYC for my 20s and early 30s that there are little if any exceptions to this rule.
So where does the art of allowing come in? I believe the key is asking without resistance, which can be defined as anything that would block the receiving of the thing I want. This could be excessive doubt, lack of clarity, attachment to the result, or rigidity regarding what the result looks like. Having a vision is key but I must be open to its variation(s). ASKING can look a certain way depending on personal style but I do believe the more I put myself out there and let the world know what I do, the better I feel and the more results I see! P
eople are not mind readers (though some of us are highly intuitive) and we live in a saturated digital climate. No news here. When it comes to differentiating and standing out, the ball is truly in one's own court. I know that when I am clear and direct with people, I sleep better at night. It isn't always easy because there's the offensive fear of rejection.
Perhaps the more lurking issue is a story in my mind that if I ask for help, it means I'm a lesser talent than someone who is more established and doesn't need to ask. Do you hear the ridiculousness in that? I do. I know people and understand systems in the entertainment/media industry at every level. People of all stripes and success levels ASK for opportunities, connections, networking opps, leads, and to simply be seen for what they do best. Associating an ASK with some kind of marker of not being successful in business is just a self-sabotaging story. If you share that one, I suggest letting it go with me now!!
I intentionally wrote this all in the "I" because I'm not interested in giving any advice. I'm simply sharing my experience, strength and hope. Thank you for reading! Please repost, share or comment below. I wish you many happy asks and answers!! ~LBD