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I’m a woman, who fancies herself independent and strong. I hate to admit this, but I have yet to meet a woman, who hasn’t fallen into these nasty habits and patterns, when she is in a relationship, myself included. I don’t know what it is that happens to women, as they enter a certain stage in a relationship. All I know is we turn in to wild, savage beasts.
The following may make you laugh. It may make you cry. Hopefully, it will make you rethink your behavior, in your relationship.
#1 Becoming hypersensitive
Think of your closest friends. You tease each other, you taunt, you say nasty things. But between the two of you, you know what it means, wherein the humor lays and exactly what you’re referring to.
When in a long standing romantic relationship, something strange happens. Your unassuming, innocent partner may tease you, about something, that they always have. It could be something your friends tease you about, ever since you’ve met, in the sandbox. But today, something flipped! All of a sudden, it’s offensive. Your friends may still tease you about it. Hell,your mother teases you about it! But if your poor spouse even peeps about it- heads will be rolling.
What is it that made you a hypersensitive beast, ready to lash out and go for the jugular, every time your spouse does exactly what your closest friends do? For myself, the only answer I found is that there’s a double standard- this is suppose to be the one person who truly loves me, why is he teasing me about my weaknesses?
What’s your excuse?
#2 Becoming a manipulative 3 year-old
We all know this one. The two of you are sitting on the couch, after a long hard-day’s work, watching a movie, and all of a sudden, you get a craving for some Oreos. The thing is, you really don’t want to get up. So you pucker your lips and with the most adorable voice, you can muster, you ask: “Beby, could you pleezh get me a coockiewoockie?..” And as if that isn’t enough, once your spouse is up and running, you add: “And a glash of milk...”
#3 Becoming dependent
I’m not talking about the extremes (which happen every day), like women depending on their men for financial security, or high-school girls who give up all their friends, so they can hang out with a boy, who hates them. I’m talking about the little every-day things.
Here’s my own personal sin:
I hate cooking. Out of all the chores, in the house (or in the world, for that matter), cooking sucks the most. So, in my special house-hold, the man cooks and I do the dishes. Seems OK, right?
Wrong! For the past 3 years (anniversary in a week! :D ) I’ve cooked 3 times!! I have actually forgotten how to do it! I’m so bad at it, that when hubby has a night-shift, I eat out!
That’s how dependent I am, on him, to cook for me. True, it’s reversible- it’s definitely not the end of the world, but it also signifies a pattern, which menifests itself in other aspects of my life.
#4 Becoming a control freak
When I was in my teens, my best friend was one of three daughters, to a very happy couple. I always wondered about the father, surrounded by 4 women.
One afternoon I ate lunch with these four women, as I usually did, at that time in my life. I found myself outnumbered, in a debate, where the majority was claiming that men should be disciplined- They’re not perfect, out of the box, but they will be, when you’re through with them!
I was dumbfounded by these claims and, frankly, it all seemed like too much work, to me. I mean, it’s his mother’s job to discipline him. I get him in good condition, right out of the box. You see? I had good intensions. I made a vow, never to penetrate my spouse’s personal space, like that.
Well, nobody’s perfect. My spouse sings loudly, when I’m trying to work. He claps in closed, echoe spaces and everything he says is offensive to me. Hence, he must change.
It took me two and a half years to realize I’m breaking my own vow, and to stop trying to change him.If any of you, reading this, is guilty of trying to educate and discipline your partner: Stop!
#5 Becoming a bitch
I know what you’re thinking: “Wasn’t I already a bitch at section #4?”
Nah… You were just controlling.
