Giving birth can be good, ecstatic, and even orgasmic

BlogHer Original Post

Last week, Lisa Belkin, parenting blogger at The NY Times, wrote about the upcoming 20/20 special on the film "Orgasmic Birth." The topic apparently hit a nerve with many, many people as she quickly received more than 500 comments.

Many people, as to be expected, are skeptical.

Mir of Woulda Coulda Shoulda had the most humorous response I read to the idea.

As soon as I

1) Find a man with a 9-pound penis
and
2) Become drunk enough to let him put it inside me for thirty hours at a time

I'll definitely see if those conditions can result in an orgasm.

But until then? Whatever, man.

Catherine, who blogs at Her Bad Mother, had similar feelings and said, "Me, personally ...? I think that I'll stick to getting my orgasms the old-fashioned way."

The day after Lisa Belkin's initial NY Times post she followed up with About that orgasmic birth... and went into a little more detail about the responses she received, the film and one of the women featured in the film.

I was not surprised at the number of comments that dismissed the possibility as a fairytale. I was very surprised at the number of women who wrote to say that they had experienced what the film explored. I was a little distressed at the hostility the first of these groups showed to the second. And I was somewhat surprised, and very pleased, to receive an e-mail from Tamra Larter, one of the subjects of the film, who had been following all the comments, and wanted to make a few of her own.

It's really worth it to click over there to read what Ms. Larter had to say about the film and her birthing experience, but here's a snippet.

“I hope people will see the film,” she wrote. “Then they will see that it is about much more than the title suggests. There are many choices and possibilities when it comes to birth.”

And she uses the word “orgasm” with conditions. “I never claimed to have a pain-free birth,” she wrote, “but laboring with my daughter was awesome and for the most part felt really good.” The actual “orgasmic experience” did not feel like the climax of sex, she says, but rather “sensations which were something different than sex, but similar enough I feel O.K. using the word orgasmic. It was a wonderful feeling.”

She also confessed that upon first hearing about the idea of orgasmic birth, she thought it was "gross," "weird," and "not possible," but said it was before she had had any children and the only childbirth she had seen had been on TV.

After reading many comments and several blogs about this, I clicked over to the Orgasmic Birth web site, where I watched the trailer (again). The first time I watched it was many months ago and I felt a refresher was in order.

I admit that even with all of the birth videos I've watched in the past and my "crunchy" ways, it makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat to hear a woman making pleasurable sounds while in childbirth (or in any situation really). And yet, I see the whole "orgasmic birth" thing as being just a small piece of the film, and believe it is titled the way it is to grab our attention. (And it's certainly worked, hasn't it?) I still believe, as I wrote on my blog over a week ago, "that it does not appear they are not saying all women will have an orgasm or that an orgasm should even be the goal. I think the point is moreso that birth can be a good experience."

Marsden Wagner, MD, who is interviewed in the film, makes an excellent point about childbirth saying, "It's got to be like it is when you make love with someone. It's got to be safe, secure and uninterrupted. And that is how you have an orgasmic birth."

I do not want to turn this into a debate over home birth vs. hospital birth, but having had both types of births I will say I felt much more safe, secure and uninterrupted at home than I did in the hospital. Although I'm sure it's possible, I think that for the most part, these "orgasmic births" are much more likely to occur in a birthing center or home environment than in the hospital.

I think the term "orgasmic birth" is subject to interpretation too and noticed that on the Orgasmic Birth site, in their call for birth stories they say, "Please share your ecstatic or orgasmic birth story with us." I would never say that I had an orgasm while giving birth to my son, but the experience was amazingly intense and was one of the most empowering moments in my life. Does that mean it was an orgasmic birth? Maybe. Was it an ecstatic birth? I believe it was.

Ninotchka had an empowering birth experience as well and commented about it on my blog:

I can’t say that I had an orgasm while giving birth. But after birthing Elle right into my hand, I felt so triumphant and organically happy that I would certainly call that feeling “orgasmic.” It all happened so fast and we’d waited so long for that little sweetheart. It was a definite rush and I was absolutely elated.

I think giving birth will always conjure up different ideas and feelings for different people. No two births are exactly the same and I think that's the way it should be. Innerbrat summed it all up nicely when she said, "The important thing here, as with everything regarding women's health, is to give women the ownership of our own bodies, so we can make an informed, conscious decision about what's best for us and our children; and the first and best way to be informed is to openly talk about the subject."

ABC's 20/20 special on Orgasmic Birth, which will also include segments on home birth (unassisted and midwife-attended) and long-term breastfeeding, is currently set to air Friday, Jan. 2, 2009.

Contributing editor Amy Gates blogs about green living, attachment parenting, activism and photography at Crunchy Domestic Goddess.

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