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Since we're on the cusp of Thanksgiving I thought it would be a fine time to visit the idea of giving thanks for lessons you have learned from all your jobs and businesses along the way. Yes, even those lessons that were learned the hard and unpleasant way. While this exercise is valuable at any time, I think it is particularly valuable during the Thanksgiving holiday and the end of year/start of a new year cycle. The fact that the last two years have been turbulent for many professionally and financially it is even more important to find the gifts (even if they lie amidst some rubble).
You might find yourself in a job you hate or perhaps hating the fact that you're without a job. From that space you may be thinking there is nothing to be grateful for and that I should take my pollyannaish post and go pound sand. I hear you. I've been there. I can remember a colleague of mine telling me once during the depths of my corporate cubicle despair that I should find the joy. If looks could kill, the one I flashed her would've rivaled the world's worst taser. Hindsight is 20/20 though and over time I "got" what she was trying to teach me. You can either wallow in poop or dig in it for the gifts by turning it into compost from which a brighter future can grow.
I might add this same principle holds true even if you love what you do because unless you live in a bubble, inevitably you'll encounter a challenge. You can either look to what you can learn (and stir to compost) or sit in the stink.
Some of the things I learned the hard way include:
The Grass is Always Greener
If you're fantasizing that the grass is greener elsewhere, chances are you're feeling desperate. Sure there may be a much better career or life direction out there for you, but all of them come with their ups and downs. Focus on what you want to move toward, not what you're running away from.
Difficult People Teach You A Lot
Oh I've had my share. Some were simple personality differences, some were true jerks. In all cases I had to learn what was within my control to improve the relationship and what I needed to just let go. Bottom line was learning not to take things personally. Most people who drive you nuts are usually just struggling with their own life and expressing it in the only way they know how. That being said - learn how to navigate the tough ones more effectively and always honor and respect yourself (and them) in the process.
Things Happen - Only You Can Find the Meaning
Two people get laid off. One uses it as a catalyst for a great next step; the other wallows and complains about how they were wronged. Whether you feel "in the right" or not, only you can choose what you do with the things that happen to you. You assign meaning and learn any lessons from circumstances and events. Assign that meaning wisely (remember - to compost or not to compost?).
Sometimes Not Getting What You Want is a Blessing
On several occasions I pursued positions and jobs I really wanted. They seemed like the perfect next step for me. I was qualified by leaps and bounds. Then, I never got the job. I was extremely disappointed and a little on the "beat myself up" train. That same good friend who tried to get me to see the lessons earlier (yeah, she stuck around even with those looks could kill glances) told me "there's a reason you didn't get it and I bet you'll look back and be grateful you didn't". Again, I wasn't so sure. Well, sure enough a few months later those departments either dissolved or became the equivalent of a white collar sweat shop. Was I grateful I didn't get the job? Yes... but sometimes it takes hanging in there long enough to see things in hindsight to be grateful. Strive for being grateful at the front end of the curve and you'll feel better.
OK, so these are just a few of the tough lessons that took me a while to learn. Lessons for which I was not immediately grateful by any means. So what do others have to say?
Maria Niles nails it once again in "Lessons Don't Always Show Up in the Way We
