Go My Own Way.....and other adventures.

................................so my kid graduates high school in 7 days.

And apparently there is this post-nesting ritual that nearing-adulthood-teens perfrom to prepare in ready to leave home/ go to college: The must shed their once thought adorable 'cute kid' persona and prove themselves sullen, snarky roommate types. Things like, leaving bread bags open so the contents dry out, being snippy, standing you up, and other typically out of character traits morph them into eyerolling beasts. I am witness. I hope for non-meltdown resolution. But still, there is a revolution......a revolution.....stirring.

I was 26 when I took on having this awesome kid. It was 1996. No one had cellphones. We all still had video cameras, CD players, and could afford gas. Now, I am 44. This kid is bouncing with one foot out the door, ready to go get his education furthered and I am SO EXCITED THAT HE IS GOING FOR IT! But, in the quiet os 4:08 am.....I look around and see that I HAVE ZERO IDEA WHO AND WHAT I AM THE SECOND THAT SECOND FOOT LEAVES THIS HOUSE......

All my decisions have been influenced, if not made entirely, based on the fact I have had a kid to raise. But, it appears....that is about to change. And I have no direction. No internal compass.

I know some stuff:

This marriage/relationship.....is a joke. That......that has got to be figured out.

This area was for my kid. Is it time to relocate?

Who stays and who goes? The validity of relationships in general is coming under fire.

.......................I can go my own way. I am 44 and it's my turn.

I just thought of the phrase "....you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here......" True story! 

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