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God Bless Gilda Radner and My Mom

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Teal RibbonSeptember is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month.  I really wonder if ovarian cancer would ever have made it on the cause-of-the-month hit parade, if it weren’t for Gilda Radner.  Sadly, she lost her battle with the disease in 1989.  Back then it seemed ludicrous that the “silent killer” could take the life of such an ebullient woman.  While her somewhat nasal, sharp voice was lost that day, her legacy lives on with memories of riotous laughter, occasional references to Emily Litella and Roseanne Roseannadanna.  I owe Gilda Radner a personal debt of gratitude.  She helped to save my mother’s life.  Six years ago, through some miracle, my mother decided that the stomach pain she was feeling deserved a trip to the doctor.  I think both she and her doctor paid a bit more attention because of Gilda Radner.  Gilda Radner

Mom had always ignored aches and pains and tossed them off as minor annoyances.  If the pain got really bad, she would pull out a heating pad or pop a couple of Advil.  I think she assumed that whatever pain she had was a normal part of the human condition, and I’m certain that she thought that there was honor and grace in bearing it.  She often quotes the nuns of her childhood when things were tough.  “Offer it up” she’d say.  Something nagged her this time.  The pain was different.  It wasn’t in her stomach like an ulcer (from her Advil habit) might be.  It was lower, and she knew somehow that it needed to be checked.  Shortly after that check-up (about which my siblings and I knew nothing), she called to say that 1) my sister was in labor with her 2nd child, and 2) I wouldn’t be able to reach my parents at home the next day because she was going to have surgery.  In a fashion that is so typical of my mother, she slipped in the part about the surgery just after she told me that my niece Olivia was about to be born.  She might as well have told me that she was going to Stop & Shop to buy milk.  She went on to explain that the surgery had been planned for later that month, but the doctor’s office had called on Friday and told her to come in Monday morning.  “They had some scheduling issues, I guess”, she said.  “They’re having a gynecological oncologist do the surgery.  The regular surgeon must not be available.”  Yup, just scheduling issues. 

That was the beginning of my mom’s journey into and thankfully through the world of ovarian cancer.  After the surgery and chemotherapy, she was declared cancer free and has remained so for 5 years.  That day was also the moment, for me, when I went from being a child in her life to truly being a grown up.  I think she’d thought of me as a grown up for many years (I had 4 children after all), but I still thought of myself as her child.  When hit in the face with her mortality, I also had to face my own mortality.  Was there anything that allowed the cancer to take hold and grow in her body?  How could I learn what it was, help her and help to protect myself, my sisters and my daughters?  As much as my mother has always been stalwart in tough situations, she has accepted many things passively.  There was no way I was going to take a passive approach to my well-being.  From that moment on, my generally healthy lifestyle shifted into a higher gear.

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alienbody 38 pts

Thanks for sharing your family's story. My grandmother lost her battle when I was 12, because the doctor refused to consider anything other than 'female problems' and that, perhaps, it was all in her head. This was the pre-Radner years.

What I find interesting, and distressing, is that when I told my gyno about my grandmother she saw no real need for me to pay closer attention. No real need for me to get yearly screens, every 2 or 3 would be fine. And, despite having more than a couple of the 'signs', she simply says they can be related to the affects from having my thyroid removed due to thyroid cancer.

Long story short, you must be your own advocate and insist on being heard and getting the screenings, regardless of what your doctor says. Kudos to you for doing the BRCA gene testing AND for getting regular ultrasounds.

puristics 5 pts

alienbody I really believe we need to advocate for ourselves in all healthcare matters, but it seems particularly important when it comes to "female" health issues. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful gyno who pushes the diagnostic testing and early thinking. I wrote a post back in June, however, about the road this gyno led me down when she suggested I get a prophylactic oophorectomy. Ultimately, I didn't get the operation after consulting with an surgical oncologist. My risks are low, but I still have to remain vigilant - - as every woman should be regardless of family history. Thanks for your comment.

FarewellStranger 6 pts

Great post. My mom had ovarian cancer too, right around the same time. I think it was 6 years ago tomorrow that she had surgery.

For her, the symptoms were the same - abdominal pain and discomfort that she didn't ignore. She found out she had a large tumour right before my wedding (and didn't tell anyone). Then the day after we got back from our honeymoon she showed up on my doorstep with my sister to tell me.

It was a tough road - my dad had prostate cancer at the same time - but she made it through. She's been cancer free for over 5 years now, like your mom. I'm so thankful every day.

puristics 5 pts

FarewellStranger Hooray for you and your mom and your family. I really think that my mother was "tapped on the shoulder" and made to pay attention to her symptoms. I'm so glad your mom is doing ok. As a mom, I can understand why she kept it from you until after the wedding, but as a daughter, I wish my mom hadn't been so casual in her discussion of the disease with me. Oh well, moms will be moms.

Conversation from Facebook

Allison Creech
Allison Creech

I hear you...there's been some unfairness in my family also!

Wendy Perry
Wendy Perry

it was!

Allison Creech
Allison Creech

That's so moving Wendy...seems so unfair..

Wendy Perry
Wendy Perry

this evil took my mama wayyyyy too early... at only 63yo... DXed 3 days after burying her invalid mama she cared for for years... and was about to start living HER life... nothing much worse than having your mama lay in your lap at 2AM after coming home from ER with this news, and having her say "why me? it's my turn to have a life...i was just starting to live MY life." saddest thing EVER for me... and 2 years later on 6/26/2002 she left us for heaven and i miss her so...

The Skinny Skillet
The Skinny Skillet

Gilda Radner...what a great woman and so funny too!

Robin Farr
Robin Farr

Wow, my mom's story is very similar to this writer's mother's experience. So thankful they both beat it.