- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 3
- 4
-
Sparkle (2)
Two weeks ago, on a business trip home from the airport, the driver and I were making small talk.
At some point, I mentioned that we recently moved to Virginia from California and after he shared with me that he has four small children at home, I mentioned that I, too, have four small children at home. He said it must be very difficult to work full-time and I told him that it was.
Or rather, it is.
But thankfully, I'm married to a wonderful man who is home with our children. Even though Charlie makes it look glamorous, I know it's not always rainbows and unicorns being primarily responsible for the well-being of four little lives. (And yet, despite the challenges, it's still the best job in the world.)
The driver told me the story about a woman he drove to the airport for an international trip earlier in the month. He said that when he picked her up at 6:00 in the morning, she opened the front door and was holding a baby in her arms. She handed the baby over to her husband and then slowly walked down the stairs to the car. As he loaded her suitcase in the trunk and climbed in behind the driver seat, he noticed that his passenger had broken down in to tears. He wasn't sure what to do, so he looked at her in the mirror and said, "Miss, I'm sorry that you are so upset. Is there something I can do to help you?"
She shook her head no, but then continued to cry the entire drive to the airport. When they were pulling up to the terminal, she finally opened up and told him that her baby was celebrating his one-year birthday while she would be away on her trip and she was going to miss it. Then she added that she is the primary breadwinner in her family and she desperately wants to succeed in her career, and her presence has been requested at this meeting and really, what option did she have but to say that YES she'd be there?
I let out a deep, sad sigh.
What option does she have?
Let me see...
She has the option to say NO.
She has the option to say, "I'm very sorry but this 'birthday' has been on my calendar for a year and I'm not going to miss it." She has the option to travel the week before, or the week after, but she is not going to travel the week of and miss this monumental event.
Because it is monumental.
And maybe some people wouldn't think so, but then again, those people probably wouldn't cry the entire drive to the airport over missing such an event in the first place.
Therein lies the challenge of the working mother. More specifically, the working mother who is also trying to climb a steep and at times, slippery and rigid corporate ladder. Responses may vary, but the question is always present... just what are you willing to sacrifice, to climb a wee bit higher?
One of my friends is struggling with a work situation that required her to move to a foreign country on assignment, just before her oldest child graduates from high school in the United States. She is currently living overseas and has missed the last two months with her son and will also miss this entire summer with him at home, before he moves away to college. She is equal parts devastated and frustrated over what she feels is a mothering defeat. And I am heartbroken for her, because I know that she'll never get this time back, again.
Very recently, I found myself in a situation that would have left me feeling a very similar kind of mothering defeat.
In a few weeks, our six-year-old triplets will be making their debut on the big stage. But it just so happens that the date of their play coincided with what was gearing up to be an important meeting at work. Immediately recognizing the conflict, I made it clear that I wouldn't be available the morning of the yet-to-be-scheduled big meeting, because my attendance was required elsewhere.
My announcement was met with a blank stare.
After happily explaining that my children's Kindergarten class was putting on a production, it was suggested that it would be in my "best
