Golden Globes and...ahem..."Quirky" People

Watching the Golden Globes and…ahem…”Quirky” People interact with each other on network television during this year’s show was pretty fun for me, and I’ll tell you why.

I’m won’t mince words, because, well… I don’t do that. It was fun catching some of the show on Sunday. I watched as Jodi Foster rambled on during her lifetime achievement award about not having to expose her entire life to everyone, and privacy, and reality shows, and such. It seemed to be a truly authentic speech, which I appreciated. The whole “coming out” thing didn’t escape anyone, however… but don’t be fooled. Jodi knew very well what she was doing. She knew it would toy with reality-show-crazed people of today who LOVE to hear and talk about the private affairs of people they see on TV or film. Are you kidding? Even though Jodi’s sexual orientation has been highly speculated over the years, she’s always been an extremely private person, and never talked about it. The mere fact she used the words “coming out” was like heaven to the blogosphere, Twitter, and more. I’m even talking about it, aren’t I?

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Doesn’t she look AMAZING for 50?

Though I am not a friend or  acquaintance of any of the people at the Golden Globes, as I watched the show, I felt like somewhat of an insider. I felt I could relate to the family and friends of those nominees and winners.  It’s mostly because I am a publicist, and I deal with the idiosyncrasies of Quirky people on a daily basis. The feverish attempts that are made to control things and juggle perceptions from the public and so on are sort of a crack up to me. Perhaps it is because I’ve yet to ever be scrutinized so harshly by such a wide audience. I’m quite sure if the tables were turned, I’d be forced to become more of a private person. Perhaps I would have to hire someone to write my “personal” Ms. Cheevious blogs (heh heh – that would be AWESOME).

I had one person say “Don’t mention anything about my private life to so-n-so… he was very jealous that I went on a trip without him…” As if I – your publicist – would do that anyway. That’s a MILD one, to say the LEAST, but I’ve heard it all. As the representative to actors, performers, producers and more, it’s been quite interesting. I’ve been around those who are “kept” by “benefactors” and others who have thrown GIGANTIC fits in public, embarrassing everyone around them. I wrote about one such DIVA in my post a few years back about Patty Stanger from the Millionaire Matchmaker, called “Million Dollar Diva.”

In Hollywood, if you are friends with (or a family member to) anyone who has had even a smidge of notoriety or experienced their few moments of fame, you know what the big Golden Globes day was like for the friends and family of the nominees and winners. Being a good friend or family member of someone famous is like being the best man or maid of honor for their wedding- which happens over and over again - every.single.time something great happens in their career… an honor, award, premier, new series, big interview in a major publication, etc…

What does that mean? Think about it. If it’s someone’s wedding day, guess what? They get all the attention, because it is THEIR friggin’ day. Not only that, every little detail leading up to their wedding is exceptionally important, requiring the best man and maid of honor’s undivided, selfless attention and time. All others must understand that everyone and everything — EVERYTHING  takes a back seat to the myriad of wedding plans… the florist appointment, invitation design, etc. Only death or taxes (or some natural disaster) trumps the wedding, period.

It doesn’t stop there. With the dawn of social media, many of the quasi-celebs in Hollywood are caught in limbo between wanting to be present, accounted for and talked about online, and trying desperately to control the conversation that happens to influence perception of them to agents, casting directors, producers and more.

I’ve heard of people who request photos, posts and more be removed, or their names untagged, etc. because they weren’t comfortable with what was being shared.   I get it. I truly do. I don’t share everything with everyone on Facebook, for instance. I have a private life that my clients don’t need to be aware of.  But I don’t reach out to others and say “Hey, please untag me? I don’t like that photo…” or “I don’t want people to know what I did on such-n-such day…” That’s simply ridiculous. Even people who are dangerous or strange and demented that may find that photo, will find others if they’re so inclined. If you don’t want anyone to know, don’t take a photo and share it. I start to roll my eyes when people freak out because something they didn’t expect “may have” shown up online. I really don’t think Al Pacino, Brad Pitt or Julianne Moore sit around and worry about a photo of them that turned up. They’d forever be chasing them down! It’s pretty funny. Have you ever done a search for someone like Leonardo DiCaprio?  I tell you that man is beautiful, but you wouldn’t know it by some of the photos of him online caught by Paparazzi on a casual stroll to the coffee shop. Here’s a novel idea: Don’t pay attention to what’s being said. Don’t “follow” the comments on the post, or photo. IGNORE it. If you want to truly be a star like Gwyneth Paltrow or fill-in-the-blank, then you’ve got to grow a thick skin and learn the tough lesson of letting it BE. It’s just NOT possible to always look good.

I think some of these “Quirky” people would do well to realize that it’s “in the room” and in person – or on film – or on tape – where they make the biggest impact… the one that counts. It isn’t the photos that show up on someone’s facebook page. (Excluding nudes… now that I can see stressing over).

Yep… it’s the friends and family and true supporters to these Quirky people who are the real stars. Forever supporting, truly joyful and happy for their friend/family member’s successes and achievements, cheering them on, advising them, taking a back seat, sacrificing their own personal needs, rescheduling (or missing) events, vacations, trips, appointments to accommodate their famous friend or family member’s important audition, call-back, interview, shooting day or whatever. I should know. I date a guy who is in the “industry” and we’ve had all of those situations happen to us (trips cut short, plans rescheduled, etc.). Trust me. I am thankful for the great relationship we have, and the person that he is which makes it all possible. He is a stand-up, truly good person, who is grounded, down-to-earth, and rearranges his schedule to be there for me when it’s necessary. So, though our life together is anything but normal (as Ms. Foster was quoted as saying, which I love, “Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from.”), he doesn’t really qualify as a “Quirky” person. He doesn’t assume that anyone will stop their world for his career, and he is truly grateful when he gets special attention. He DESERVES to be up on stage at the Golden Globes.

No… the Quirky people are those I refer to more often that not as a little too paranoid… unable to enjoy the fact they are truly doing what they love, and unable to be truly comfortable in their own skin at all times. These types seem unable to find peace or let things happen to a certain extent, and are unable to realize that it takes incredibly strong people to be able to live in their shadow or come second to their life or career path. (Doctors and Surgeons are also “Quirky” people).

That’s it. BEWARE the QUIRKY people. Stay grounded. Be comfortable in your own skin and how you look – as you are, and it will be contagious.

End of Rant. But, my lovelies… what did you expect from Ms. Cheevious?

THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MSCHEEVIOUS.COM HERE: 

http://www.mscheevious.com/blog_topics/uncategorized/quirkypeople/

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Lisa Jey Davis is the senior publicist, founder and principal of Jey Associates Marketing & PR, in Los Angeles, California. She is an award-winning writer, Huffington Post blogger and the author of “Ahhhhhh … Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” (a yoga practice).  Her book Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood (due 2013) won Best Unpublished Manuscript at New York Book Festival in 2007* and details her post-divorce years navigating “single” life while pursuing a career in the entertainment industry. The book became the premise for her weekly blog/magazine Ms. Cheevious – Enjoying Every Moment (www.mscheevious.com). The “Ms. Cheevious” blog along with various social media profiles (YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook) sparked a widespread movement of supporters who follow the hilarious, indelible antics of a single woman and mother in Los Angeles, living her dreams on her terms, and despite the odds. 

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