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Good-bye BlogHer 09, I miss you already

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I've attended four of the five BlogHer conferences. I stayed home for the first one and was just about as jealous and miserable as a woman blogger can be.

I've spoken at two BlogHer conferences.

I've officially live-blogged four BlogHer conferences.

I've been drunk at BlogHer Con (which is frightening since I don't drink.)

I've cried at BlogHer Con.

I've gotten angry at BlogHer Con.

I've been the life of the party.

I've been the blogger hiding in a corner because she just can't handle the people.

My heart has hurt over the sessions I wasn't able to attend.

My feet have hurt because I've tried to attend every session I possibly could attend.

I've been inspired.

I've been bored.

I'm an old timer.

I know what to expect but every year I'm thrown for a loop by the expected and the unexpected.

This year, I found myself looking at all of the ways BlogHer Con has grown and changed. That was unexpected.

Let me show you some of the changes I've seen.

In '06, there were cries of heteronormitivity, (unfounded in my personal opinion.) In '09, the LGBT acronym and the words gay, lesbian, and queer were used more during he opening keynote with Ilene Chaiken, Donna Byrd, and Tina Brown then I believe they have been used in all of the conferences put together.

In '06, I had the good fortune to meet danah boyd because she moderated the Outreach blogging is not for the faint of heart session and I was a speaker. Around the pool that weekend, I said over and over again that I wanted my kids to grow up to be like danah boyd. Watching her in the '09 Keynote, I was in awe all over again.

danah boyd at BlogHer 06 and here is danah boyd in the BlogHer 09 Keynote with Raney Aronson-Rath and Eszter Hargatti.

In 2006, Arianna Huffington, Mena Trott, Carolyn Little, and Grace Davis and were our Keynoters with barely a mention of politics.

In 2009, the White House sent Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett to talk to BlogHers about Health Care Reform - and she really listened to what we had to say.

In 2006, one geeky panel experienced some uncomfortable moments when a man attempted to monopolize the discussion. In 2009, the Vaginally Challenged session was well attended and two men spoke in the Community Keynote, (one man spoke in the community keynote in 08.)

I could go on and on about the changes but I don't want to lose sight of the things that are always the same.

At BlogHer, we develop and expand relationships with people who aren't like us, and walk away believing in something bigger and better than what we have now.

"I've decided world domination plan must include @veronicaeye @emzanotti & @fausta.We may disagree some,but think it could work! #blogher09" -- @punditmom

BlogHer 09 speaker ByJane and BlogHer Contributing Editor Gena Haskett coming together, from different places, to discuss race and words. Yes, they are smiling. And no, there was no blood drawn.

blogher 018

BlogHer brings old friends together. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this would happen. (I'm sporting the old logo, and the iVillage Community Producer Caryn Dubelko is sporting the new.)

Past & Present

There are sisters (Jory & Julie Des Jardins) at BlogHer.

blogher 041

Moms and daughters (BlogHer CE Moonfever01 from mommybytes and her mom. Seeing Angela's mom smile and say "I'm Angela's mom!" was priceless.)

blogher 026

Co-founders attending CheeseburgHER parties.

Another co-founder sings a song, just because you ask her to. Without a Karaoke machine.

New on the scene were Pokens - some worked, some did not. Business cards still rule. There are always women with purple hair and women with white hair. You always find yourself in the elevator with all sorts of... things.

We all have unforgettable conference moments. Sometimes we have shared unforgettable moments. Other times our moments make sense only to us.

Here are some of mine from BlogHer 09.

...Coming out of the closet about my

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laurie 5 pts

That was the title of my first conference post. And it about sums it all up for me.

Laurie

www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com ( http://www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Thursday night, I was steering clear of you... just in case. ;-)

But, I tend to move around a lot during conference, particularly now that it's so much larger. I'm vowing to sit still during social events in 2010... or at least sit still more often.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

ByJane 5 pts

Don't know if my post on BlogHer'09 went through (that Mr. Linky whosit is NOT my friend).  But a week later and after reading a number of posts on it, I think what means the most to me about the Conference is meeting and talking with friends.  So yes, I shall duct tape you if I come next year, because you're always running away from me....or is that intentional?

By Jane

http://midlifebloggers.com 

http://byjane.blogspot.com

mommyniri 5 pts

http://mommyniri.com/

I don't know if anyone thought they got it right. I certainly felt I was going to go slow, sometimes I think too slow but as much as there as so many people I dod not meet there were many I did meet. Lot's of lessons to be learned all round but Blogher 10 NY here we come.

TW 6 pts

 I would love it if you had come to say hi! That would have been fab. I wish more people had. I want to hear people talk long enough that I hear THEIR voice when I read the blogs. 

~TW ( http://ramblewoman.blogspot.com )
Retro-Food ( http://retro-food.com/ )

( http://ramblewoman.blogspot.com )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I love your list!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I don't think you can prepare for what happens, I know I can't and I've been four times. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I am always tempted by cheeseburgers for a week after BlogHer ends... and confession... I've never attended the CheeseburgHer party.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

from houseoverflowing, that's TW's older sister.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

and seeing the two of you wandering around the entire event. You should both attend every year.

:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

And also a pleasure to get dozens of emails, text messages and twitter DMs from CEs saying "Tami is here. You should talk to Tami. You have to meet Tami." :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Marriage is a tool of the patriarchy. BlogHer is SO not a tool of the Patriarchy.

;-)

But I know what you meant, so it's ok. Sort of. I'm probably going to have nightmares tonight, but that's ok. I'll survive.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

The first BlogHer I attended, I went to a session during every single time slot.

The second year, I skipped a few sessions.

Third year, I went to a TON of sessions, not quite every time block but close.

This year, I attended only 1 breakout session that I wasn't on a panel for or attending for work. Just 1. Ugh.

Next year, MORE sessions! Less work! Less collapsing in the hallways! No idea how I'm going to manage that, but it's my goal. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

TW is the last person anyone should be too shy to approach. :-) We'll remedy that next year.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Primetime Parenting 5 pts

I came into BlogHer with the following expectations:

Meet the bloggers I follow on Twitter and facebook

Hug and acknowledge the bloggers I have already met

Meet new bloggers that I did not know existed and give them my business card

Meet some of the marketing/pr/advertising folks in the exhibition hall

As a kosher/Observant Jewish mommy blogger, I tried to be true to my religious committments (Fri. night to Sat. night) while attending the panels on Saturday

I though my fancy shoes would keep up with all of the stair climbing I did between Fri. night and Sat. day, not.

Found enough kosher SWAG in the bag to keep me full and hydrated (thank you Tropican, Quacker, Kiwi ladies)

Smiled at everybody and tried very hard not to diss anybody (if you feel like I did, I apologize, I was just being pulled in different directions by my kids and mom)

My kids were happy in Kidcorp, thank you so much for making me know that they were safe and well fed (thank you for ordering kosher meals from my fave place, sliceoflife.com) Thank you Playschool and other life size characters that came into kidcorp and made them smile)

And, my last, but not least, expectation, was to feel confident in my clothes (thank you spanx and assets for keeping things under control)

And, my final expectation was to want to attend again next year!!! New York, no problem. Now I just need a sponsor to help cover the costs (babysitting, clothes, transportation, kosher food, and clothing). I can't say that I expected to be spotted and immediately put on the most wanted mommy blogger list, just a way to convince my DH that I will eventually be able to make money by working at home.

http://www.primetimeparenting.com ( http://www.primetimeparenting.com/ )

moonfever0 5 pts

TW was simply charming, how could you not love her? Of course I was too shy to actually say hi.

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

MindlessMommy 5 pts

Although I was way more overwhelmed than I thought I would be, I had a lot of fun.  I think that the flock tables are a great idea and that really set the stage for the rest of the conference (for me).  I went only having a few acquaintances but let feeling like I'd really connected with several people.

 Melissa

Raising Them Green ( http://raisingthemgreen.com/ )

Jane Byers Goodwin 5 pts

What do you mean by "It's over"?  I'm still there inside my head.

I shall devour a cheeseburger tonight in honor of BlogHer.  No, no, don't try to talk me out of it; I shall force it down even though I would much rather eat healthy salads and broiled fish.

Hahahahaha, gotcha.

"Don't be content with being average. Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top."

B_houseoverflowing 5 pts

Denise,

Thank you so much for sharing you recap.  I made me feel as though I was there.  Thank you also for posting Tarrant's keynote video.  The blog had orginally made me cry and then watching her read it in her sassy red dress - complete with twirls - made me cry all over again. I love you for loving her.

B

Joy Des Jardins 5 pts

Geesh. I finally got a post up about the conference.  It took me forever, but I had such a great time and lots to say.  Jory and I talked and talked about everything while she was here.  I noticed SHE posted something today too.  Well, there ya go....what a great conference it was.... ~Joy

whattamisaid 5 pts

...really I am. I came home from Chicago feeling really charged and inspired. I blogged about how great it was to be around so many smart, funny and amazing WOMEN. This was my first Blogher and I am so down for 2010 in NYC.

Loved meeting so many admired folks, including you, Denise.

Tami
What Tami Said ( http://www.whattamisaid.blogspot.com )
Anti-Racist Parent ( http://www.antiracistparent.com )

momtrolfreak 5 pts

F*ck Me Gently With a Chainsaw: In Which I Recap #BlogHer09 ( http://null/search?q=%23BlogHer09 ) Whilst Simultaneously Equating it With the Film ‘Heathers’

http://bit.ly/KdDm8 ( http://bit.ly/KdDm8 )

Laura

www.momtrolfreak.com ( http://www.momtrolfreak.com/ )

Houseonahill 5 pts

This was my first conference and it FAR exceeded my expectations.

I met bloggers I LOVE. New bloggers. And bloggers from around the globe.

I got swag. I got food. I got new pals for life!

AND I met TW!

What more could a gal ask for!!!

Houseonahill

www.Houseonahillorg.blogspot.com ( http://www.houseonahillorg.blogspot.com/ )

Karen Rani 5 pts

This was my 4th BlogHer event and Sam's 2nd (we did the Boston Reach Out Tour together) but her first BlogHer.  I'm so glad she got to be a part of the BEST BlogHer event yet.  You guys are like my marriage - it just gets better and better as we grow.

Great job, BlogHer Team.  *smooch*

~ Karen ~ 

Craftastrophe ( http://www.craftastrophe.net/ ) | Swank Web Style ( http://www.swankwebstyle.com/ ) | Catapult Web Development ( http://www.catapultwebdevelopment.com/ ) |Karen Sugarpants ( http://karensugarpants.com )

Lynn from OrganicMania.com 5 pts

I enjoyed your re-cap. It reminded me that maybe I spent too much time in the hallways talking and not enough time in sessions...but there was so much to do, to see, to hear.

My post focused on the "swag issue," but that was just one sliver of the whole experience that is BlogHer, which I think you've captured quite well.

Hope to meet you in New York!

moonfever0 5 pts

I heard that every BlogHer conference is exponentially bigger than the last. Being my first, it was totally overwhelming and yet still totally awesome. Thanks for recap - I cannot even begin to think of recapping yet.

And thanks for that great pic of me and my mom, she had a blast as well!

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

chefswidow 5 pts

Although I was a bit put off with the swaginsanity I eventually found myself having a brilliant time! 

Chef's Widow

Zandria 5 pts

I've read a few of these, but I need to take the time to read more when I have time. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

unachicana 5 pts

Can't figure out what a Poken is. Looks like a child's toy.

Enjoyed reading this post. I could feel the fun and excitement. 

Denise 9 pts moderator

A poken is a usb driven business card/personal info tool. And yes, they come in fun, colorful styles. Mine is a bumble bee. Or as one of the kids calls it, a queen bee.

Do a google search or go to wikipedia to learn more about how it works.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Both? (Well if marriage wasn't a tool of the patriarchy, of course.)

You may also know danah boyd as "zephoria" or "apophenia".

PSA: If you begin to search for all of the brilliant thinking danah has done in her lifetime, it could suck months of time out of your life. It will be a good, worthwhile time suck but still a time suck.

:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

ResourcefulMommy 5 pts

Resourceful Mommy blogs about parenting, family, and all things resourceful at www.resourcefulmommy.com ( http://www.resourcefulmommy.com/ ).

I enjoyed my wedding and honeymoon, but was depressed as hell when the anticipation gave way to reality.  Every time I take my family to Walt Disney World I'm elated, only to return to recovery - laundry, e-mails, a daily life without jaunty music and amusing plush characters.  BlogHer, you've done the same thing.  I sit here at once motivated and reflective while also overwhelmed by sadness.  Thank you for sharing your own reflections as well as providing an opportunity for ours.

Also, thank you so much for writing about Danah Boyd because by that point in the conference, I was too exhausted to follow the names of the speakers and too mesmerized to look it up.  She is far and away one of the most eloquent, insightful, and brilliant speakers I have ever had the pleasure to experience, and I thank BlogHer for having her.  I can't decide if I want to be her or marry her, but in the meantime I'll settle for having learned from her.

Denise 9 pts moderator

And it is an experience I hope never to have again. OK maybe once more... for BlogHer 2016 or something like that.

You were missed, sorely. I kept saying "you should talk to Beth Kanter"... and then I'd remember you weren't there!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

kanter 5 pts

Now, I can't say that I've been to every BlogHer Conference!  Couldn't make this year because of the crazy move across the country (I know you know what that is like), but next year - it will be five out six!  See you in 2010

Denise 9 pts moderator

Hmmm. I wonder what the community at large would have to say about that?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Though it was touch and go for a minute, in the parking garage, hugging sassymonkey and her fake husband goodbye.

I waited til I got home and then sobbed. And I've sobbed off and on ever since. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Wow.

Yes.

Exactly.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

It was a session about using social networking tools so that was the focus, I was feeling like we were missing the conversation is the most important part of the process part... thank goodness I was given the opportunity to say it.

I'm so glad it was helpful to you.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

SatelliteSister5 5 pts

I thought your reponse to the question, "If I only have an hour a day to promote my self/blog/product through social media, what should I do?" was the best nugget of information all weekend. Gold.

 So, here is Denise's very chewy answer that I have circulated to freinds, clients, and colleagues: 

post one link on Facebook

Post on link on Twitter

Post one link on a kirtsy or Digg or like site

Respond to 5 tweets on Twitter

I also found the 80/20  percentage breakdown very quotable. For your twitter feed, 80% conversation and 20% pormotion. Now, to convince the sponsors!

thanks, Denise. 

Lian Dolan

SatelliteSisterLian

www.satellitesisters.com ( http://www.satellitesisters.com/ )

www.chaoschronicles.com ( http://chaoschroniclesbyliandolan.blogspot.com/ )

Amy Sue Nathan 5 pts

To the BlogHer powers that be - perhaps it would be beneficial to have several or more "official" bloggers in various segments of BlogHer tweeting and FB'ing and blogging about the good and bad going on. 

Maybe that would keep crises at bay next year.  I was up in arms about the Nikon thing - not even there - and got the wrong information.  This would mean telling things that were going on, good, bad or otherwise. 

Sort of a "reality" BlogHer experience - where attendees and non can get the scoop.  Might help to stop some bad behavior and it would promote the good stuff.

Unfortunately sometimes people need to know they are being watched to behave correctly.  

http://SuburbanKvetch.com

Mom101 5 pts

I know, I'm a dork, but it was like leaving the last day of summer camp. 

My post on MOm-101 reflects on some of the things I'd like to change about BlogHer attendees (or probably some of the things I can't) but I think the organizers did a spectacular job at it remains, as always, the most remarkable conference ever.

Mom-101 ( http://mom-101.blogspot.com )
( http://coolmompicks.com )

Cool Mom Picks.com ( http://coolmompicks.com )

conversemomma 5 pts

Blogher was amazing. Yet, it unexpectedly opened up this ache in me, this longing, that I am trying to process. I actually stood on a street corner, emotinally screaming into a telephone to a friend, I want more. I need more. I am more. Funny, how a conference of women can do that to you.

Thanks to everyone who put this together for us.

Love and peace,
Kelly

http://www.ordinaryartblog.com ( http://www.ordinaryartblog.com/ )

Virginia DeBolt 5 pts

link in Mr. Linky is a recap of the Geek Lab events.

Virginia DeBolt
BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/virginia-debolt )
Web Teacher ( http://www.webteacher.ws/ )
First 50 Words ( http://first50.wordpress.com/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I always forget that others see me running from place to place and are hesitant to stop me because I always look like I'm on a mission. I often am, but I almost always have the time to stop for a 2.5 second chat.

Every year I say I'm going to stop, sit down somewhere, and let people have a chance to approach. Every year, I forget to do that because I'm so busy trying to find someone, do something, see something, hear something, experience SOMETHING.

I'm sorry that kept us from connecting. Next year - someone bring some duct tape and strap me in one place for awhile.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

VenusStops2 5 pts

I didn't meet you but I did sit in on the discussion about web apps that you could use which was an amazing discussion and very helpful.  I saw you from a distance at one point (sitting at the reg desk) but you seemed on a mission to get somewhere.  DID meet TW who was behind me in line for the HP / Momfluence party and LOVED getting to know her!  She's awesome and funny!

Denise 9 pts moderator

And I love that all of you are my people.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Oh yea. For me, it comes and goes. I can be going about my normal business and suddenly I'm off in BlogHer Con land again.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )