Good Bye High Heels, Hello Flip Flops: My Life as A Stay-At-Home Mom.
Not too long ago I was a Working Mom. I worked until I was 37 weeks pregnant, at a job that required me to stand on my feet the entire shift, and deal with complete and total A holes the entire time. Needless to say I was more than ecstatic to go on maternity leave.As a matter of fact, I went out with a bang.. or yell I should say, and quickly told a rude old man where he could shove it after he proceeded to get the manager (who completely undermined her own rules for this customer 10 min after closing on New Years Eve) and then tell me " See your life is just easier when you do what I tell you to do." God I had never been so happy as the night I clocked out of that place for the last time.
Two weeks after my maternity leave began we welcomed our beautiful Daughter into the world. The first 6 weeks spent with my Daughter were amazing. It was so nice to go from working in that stressful of a situation, to spending all day with the new love of my life. I got to nap with her, sit with her, watch her, take a million pictures of her, and welcome my Fiancee home every night like the perfect little family I'd always dreamed I would have.
Shortly after the 6 week mark I went back to work. Luckily I found a different (office) job. The hours were short and it was a perfect fit. That first month was the worst. Sobbing every day as I had to leave her,and having to rush home after work to Breast Feed her. As time went on it became easier tho, but I still wished I could spend all day with her. The fear of missing any firsts constantly ran through my mind.
When she was about 6 months old, my Fiancee took a job about 2 hours away from where we lived. For the next 6 months I worked, came home, and took care of her by myself 6 days a week. The urge to have my family together again caused me to make the decision to move. We found a wonderful home, with a yard. The only problem, it was 2 hours away from everyone and everything I had known.
This also meant I had to quit my job. I was so excited to finally go back to being able to stay at home with my daughter. I imagined days filled with the previous memories. I didn't take into account that my once perfect little bundle of sleep all day infant was now a curious never sitting still one year old. I imagined us playing, me teaching her things and passing the days using every moment to bond and learn. (Yes, I know that sounds sappy, and yes, I am an idealistic person at heart)
It was and is still amazing... well...sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love being with her, teaching her, and watching her grow every day. I love the attachment she has formed with me since becoming a SAHM, she loves her Mommy. I love seeing the new thing she has picked up from week to week, and not having to worry about missing a first.
But I do occasionally miss getting dressed up every morning and having somewhere to go. I miss being able to have a conversation with someone other than a baby or a dog. I sometimes long for the opportunity to get out of the house alone. Being that I am two hours away from anyone I know, the chances I have to be alone are few and far between. And after a horrible Babysitter experience while my Daughter was still an infant, I am very skeptical of leaving her with anyone I don't personally know. My days of high heels and business attire have been replaced by jeans and flip flops.
About 3 months after we moved I noticed I was in a pretty big funk. I didn't feel like doing much of anything. It was a major adjustment going from being in a home with just my daughter and me and working 5 days a week, to sitting in a large home, not working and just us for 12 hours a day. At one point I actually thought I might be getting Post Partum, even tho my daughter was already well passed a year old. I then realized that I could still do something, even if I had nothing to do. I made a deal with myself to begin getting dressed as if I had somewhere to go even if I didn't. A nice outfit, done hair, and pretty make-up can do wonders for you. I think I feel better about myself when I get up and get dressed even if I have no where to go. I also began Meditating again and practicing Yoga. I found that I still thoroughly enjoyed reading, and then as of recently I took up blogging again. It is still an adjustment, but I'm doing okay.
All in all I love being with her, but I can definitely relate to the recent research stating that Working Moms have a better mentality and are all around healthier. Being a working mom is harder in a lot of ways, but in the same breath it is easier. The sentences that come out of my mouth at any given moment would make even the most seasoned veteran laugh. Some days I clean up 3 different species bodily fluids. I also have learned that Banana, when dried, makes a great hair gel. The messes that a toddler can make would blow your mind if you don't already know.
When I am at home, I feel like there is more pressure on me to have the laundry done, house cleaned, dinner ready, and everything perfect. Or else people will give me the typical "Well stay at home Mom's do nothing all day" look or vibe. Which that's a whole other topic in itself. I do more now as a Stay at home mom, and get more stressed now as a stay at home mom than I ever did working and being a Mom. Not to mention the trust I have put in my Fiancee to provide for us. Which is something I swore I would never do. (Depend on someone else for my income). I find that most Mom's I know feel guilty if they admit they sometimes question their decision to stay at home. I on the other hand feel it is important to discuss the issues at hand regarding parenting. We as women need to uplift each other, and help each other. After all, it takes a village is how the old saying goes.
Brit Staton- www.mommytomommies.blogspot.com