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When I was approached about contributing to the Good Health-athon for couples my first thought was, "But then we'd actually have to do healthy things instead of talking about doing them." My second thought was perhaps that was not the right reaction. Upon further reflection I decide that my initial reaction was saying an awful lot about us. Of course my boyfriend and I want to eat better. Of course we want to exercise more. Of course we want to be healthier. We talk a good talk but we falter at the stage where we'd actually have to do something. Yes, this Good Health-athon for couples was just what we needed.
One of the keys to success for couples, in just about everything they do, is communication. When you are setting goals for the Good Health-athon discuss them as a couple and figure out what healthy means to you, both as a couple and individually. I'm a big believer of what Zandria said in her post about keeping your personality in mind when creating goals. What works for you might not work for your partner and you might not have the same goals or the same way of meeting them.
That is very much the case for my boyfriend Lee and I. He wants to lose weight. I want to maintain mine. His preferred form of cardio is the exercise bike. I loathe it. He can get up in the morning and do crunches and weights before coffee. During these cold winter mornings I get up out of the warm covers of bed and go and sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket and drink coffee. If we were to decide that we're going to get up every morning and do crunches and use the the exercise bike before coffee Lee might succeed but I would absolutely, one hundred and ten percent FAIL in the first week. (Ok, fine. First day.) It would be fantastic if we could work out together like Cindy and her husband do but it's just not in our cards at the moment. So for now his goals may be to get up and do those crunches before breakfast, my goals may be to do yoga orpilates in the afternoon.
Erm...yeah, I said "may". We still have work to do on the exercise front. We've committed to "getting healthy" and "exercising" but we haven't defined how we are going to do that. Oopsie. Really, we meant to do it. As Catherine said in her setting goals post, it is a very important part of the process. We do at least have goals. As I mentioned above, Lee wants to lose weight and I want to maintain mine. We've even entered a goals into our WiiFit. What we haven't done is put together our plan for meeting our goals. It's the first week and we're already off to a bumpy start. (Go us!) Yes, we're going to figure out those goals. Soon.
If I was attempting to make excuses I suppose I could say that it's because we were figuring out the eating healthier thing. Now there's one place where we do have a plan. We've created a budget and once a week we're sitting down and planning our meals for the week. Lee handles breakfast (while I'm busy on the couch with my coffee and blanket), we tend to have leftovers for lunch, and I (usually) cook dinner. We're going to eat more veggies, eat less meals from a box (which we didn't eat much of anyway), work on portion sizes, and add a few more meatless meals to the rotation. One week in and we're right on track.
Making big changes as a couple can difficult but it's even more difficult when your partner isn't on board. This whole process would be a completely different experience if Lee was putting up resistance on meal planning or if we had very different definitions of "healthy". Crabby McSlacker just posted about whether or not our partners are health hazards on Cranky Fitness. It's a great post that sparked some fantastic comments about saboteurs in relationships. And you don't need to be married or live together for the sabotage to happen. Laura of Absolut(ly) Fit, skipped exercising to hang out with her boyfriend and he rewarded her with a trip to Magnolia bakery. Cupcakes are yummy and wonderful in moderation but not so much as a replacement for a workout.
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