My Life As A Headcase: Insomnia (Or While My Pillow Gently Mocks)

witching hour of insomniaI swear I have the sleeping habits of a wacked out 2 year old.  I go to bed and sleep a LEETLE bit and then wake up and realise no one ELSE is awake so I panic a little which makes me get even more awake than I was and then I am up for good.  Fortunately I really don't expect anyone to entertain me during the night and to be honest the quiet time is kind of nice but still...I am pretty sure my pillow is mocking me.

At 2:08 I was up and have been dozing off and on since.  I finally got up at 4:00 when I thought Scott wasn't breathing.

Kelly Damian talks about the 7 Stages of Insomnia.  I am at stage 5 (Pollyanna) for sure but Imt everest base camp at night like to linger at Stage 3 (False Casualness) like a fine wine.  Good LORD, I am talking about this like it's Mount Everest,  "I am at base camp at least but getting to the summit may take longer than I anticipated simply because of cloud cover..."

And let me tell you, waking up and thinking the person beside of you isn't breathing IS enough to wake you completely up so much that going back to sleep is completely out of the question! insomnia

So I got a cup of tea and settled on the couch.  I browsed through this month's "Natural Health" magazine...wondering what freeka is and if I could substitute quinoa for it (I think I can), then I plugged in the computer and here we are.

I have a doctor's appointment at 2:15 and then I hope I can hit the craft store.  I'd LIKE to find the gift card we have for that so I can buy art supplies for me and the boy and I'd also LIKE to find a check I have laying around here somewhere that needs to be deposited.

Like being the operative word of course.

It's just been one of those weeks and I am so glad it's Shabbat.  I love to think I'll take a long, luxurious nap but seeing that its nearly 5am, somehow I think that's not in the picture.

My pillow seems to have a second career as a Sorting Hat!  Honestly.  It just sits pillowthere and mocks me..."Yeah you THINK you're going to sleep.  Well, only if it's daylight, you have things to do and I can make you feel guilty for spending quality time with that teddy bear of yours.  You may THINK you're the princess in this household but I am the QUEEN and I shall decide who sleeps and who shall not sleep and baby, guess which category YOU'VE been sorted into!"  I think it snickers then and calls me nasty names.

Yep, that's what it's saying to me.  Little bastard.

Blog Insomnia2Anyway, even with a super size sleeping pill I think I have trained myself to wake up at 2am and then at 4.  At 2 I took two melatonin and 2 benadryl thinking THAT would knock me out until at least 6.

Oh how I fondly remember the days of my youth when I'd go to bed at 8 and not wake up until 11.  Sigh.

Now all I have to show for it are bitter memories and a mocking
pillow. When did life become so pathetic? And on top of ALL of this, I have a Hebrew earworm song going on which isn't unpleasant per se it's just the principal of thing although it's a step up for me from my usual Ken-L-Ration commercial song (you're probably not old enough so youtube that one) or The Song That Never Ends. I am seriously starting to appreciate Hulu and it's never ending queue of a series because I really think I can only sleep during endless rounds of Remington Steele.

Shoot me.

P.S.  Dear Pillow, thanks for the morning migraine.  XXOO

Lizzie blogs at Look At The Flowers Lizzie.  

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