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Sparkle (1)
Each generation has their heated issue when it comes to marriage.
Once upon a time, it was imperative to maintain the virtue and innocence of a young woman (i.e.: the presence of her hymen) on her wedding night. In present times, the average age of sexually active women is 17. Therefore, contrary to the repressive sexual times of our predecessors, kids today are literally putting the sex in the sex-ed. Don’t know what a hymen is Susie? Statistically, it looks like you lost it well before you made it to that health class lesson. Where the social issue of the hymen eventually broke, there is a new age one that aims to unite – that is last names. Say hello to our little friend, the hyphen.
With women gaining more leadership ground, narrowing the wage gap and successfully balancing family and work, women are also starting to preserve their original identity by way of their surname upon marriage. In fact, a 2004 Harvard University study found that the number of college-educated women who kept their surnames upon marriage rose from about 3% in 1975 to nearly 20% in 2001 (similar stats on men are not kept). There are five ways that women accomplish this.
A woman says sayonara to her middle name and replaces it with her maiden name. She then says to konnichiha to her spouse’s name, which is now her new last name. (“Betty Ann Jones” becomes “Betty Jones Smith”).
Another woman can choose the hyphen route (“Betty Ann Jones-Smith”), which unfortunately has picked up a country club snobby stereotype to it, but it’s a woman honoring herself – so how can that be bad?
Alternatively on rare occasions, both spouses co-hyphenated each surname. Or on more rare occasions, a couple will opt to create a new surname using a Scrabble-like approach (“Jonsith” or “Smones”) or even choose an entirely new name that is meaningful to both.
The hyphen has become the issue of the hour because it exemplifies the gradual eradication of all things sexist and obsolete in marriage. It stands precariously in the middle of old conservative ways, new liberal practices and polarized feminist debate.
We live in a society that does not value female names, but modern women are beginning to recognize the value of their surnames, their heritage and their origins. They want to remain committed to it. They recognize that identity is not something that is passed on solely through the male lineage, nor is it to be traded or abandoned with marriage. A woman’s surname is equally as valuable as their spouse’s, and it is an asset that they bring to a marriage and their future family.
Hyphenation and surname retention (opting to not
