Goodbye my friend Chipotle...or my week in review
My life has been full of changes this past year. I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am separated. I think I have come to terms that I am now officially out of that higher tax bracket thanks to the fact that I am a one income family now...but somehow I don't qualify for grants for school. I haven't come to terms with that. I would even say that my soon to be ex husband and I are sort of friends. We work together...and although we didn't get along as a married couple..we get along as friends. The only thing I won't acknowledge is his girlfriend. Maybe one day.
So when everythings seems to get as normal as normal gets...my life turns upside down again. My mother was diagnosed with COPD, that is chronic obstrutive pulmonary disease. She has smoked a day in her life...she doesn't even hang out in clubs where smoke is. However, she grew up and worked when it was okay to smoke in the office. Do you remember that? My mother is my life. I am a bonafide momma's girl. I live within running distance from my Mom. I work with my Mom...when I didn't work with my Mom, I called her everyday. If she could text, I would probably text her every hour. I googled the disease because I know very little about it...it said its the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. I begin to panic, get stress headaches (Did I tell you since my separation, I have high blood pressure too?) I think of life without her. I know that she is not going to pass tomorrow, but things like this put your life into perspective. Life is too short to be angry about things from the past. You learn from your mistakes and then you move on. Easier said than done, right? All the sudden fights I have had with friends don't really bother me anymore...I am not holding grudges. All the sudden the man you gave your life to...and we have broke each others hearts...I am over it. Why be angry? I am too old to hold grudges. Things happen too fast and then people are not in your life anymore. I don't want to take for granted what God has given me.
That being said, I have been incredibly unhealthy since my separation. I gain weight when I am stressed, not lose it. It has hit me more now because I don't gain weight in my legs, so I would wear the cute big baby doll dresses all summer...but Now I am trying to get my butt into my jeans...so not pretty. Like I said, my blood pressure is high...I am at an unhealthy weight...my immune system is horrible this past year. I need to be strong for my Mom now. I don't have time to worry about my health, so I am taking care of my health. You know I run, but I am going to have the diet to match it. I have sworn of Chipotle Burritios for a year to show my commitment to this cause! A year? I think I have been eating those scrumptiou burritos for at least 7 years...wow. My commitment to Chipotle lasted longer than my marriage. So I am eating clean, consistently running, and adding weights to this bad girl.
We will see how long this last, but as of Friday, I am commited to the cause!