Grandmother of the Bride

My grandchildren are growing up.

It was bound to happen, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier.

I'm still getting used to having middle-aged sons, sons who are bumping up against 40 and showing some gray in their hair. But a granddaughter getting married? I am so not ready for that.

She's too young. Really she is--she's just 19, too young to be taking this step. Forget that I did the same thing when I was two years younger. Forget that her Dad did the same thing. We want our younger generations to learn from our mistakes, right? And to be honest, I can't say my early marriage was completely a mistake. I had four great sons from that marriage and 14 of 16 years were relatively happy. Hard to call it a mistake. But it certainly was not an easy life path to take.

And now his daughter is treading in our footsteps. She could have gone to a good college--she had the grades and her father's support. Instead she is choosing to marry and attend a community college. She's still ahead of where I was at her age, certainly. I didn't attend college until I was in my middle thirties--she was born during my sophomore year. I wasn't ready to be a grandmother either. I mean, I was in college! but there she was, a beautiful baby girl.  

I am learning to deal with it. After all, it is her life, she's old enough to make decisions on her own. No amount of others saying to wait is going to stop what she wants to do now. So I am being positive, trying to be happy for her, and all the while thinking, "can this marriage actally last?" Statistics certainly don't point to success.

So I am preparing to be grandmother of the bride, keeping my fingers crossed that she'll hold off making me a great-grandmother until I'm at least 60, and that all of us naysayers will be wrong. For once in my life, I really, really want to be wrong.

 

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