Stuck in a big black hole

I don't know if this is just me or it's a common thing among women writers. I've never been entirely  confident about my writing. I wrote a short story about a month ago and I had a really bad feeling about it. So, I posted it on my blog a few days after I wrote it to see what people thought about it. Even though people liked it, I can't seem to get past the feeling that this story is actually crap and my friends are just humoring me. I know as women, we are always worried about not offending other people's feelings. Well this "impulse to being nice all-the-freaking-time" got me in the rut in the first place. So, I need your help - in ways more than one.

1) Can you tell me truthfully what you think of the story I posted? If it stinks, tell me - I'm very difficult to offend. I am trusting you to tell me upfront what you think of it.

2) If you have any suggestions - ranging from grammar to structure  or anything - please let me know how can I improve my writing.

Thank you so much. This is the link to my short story - http://jaded16.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/my-work

~ Jaded16

http://jaded16.wordpress.com/