Boys Should be Boys, 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons

 

 

 

Remember that the most important
person in your son’s life is you!

 

From the time your son is an infant
his relationship with you sets the template for his world. If you are
trustworthy, he will trust others.  If
you are more critical than affectionate, he will guard himself from being too
close to anyone.  You become his
emotional filter.  All of his future
relationships will be fitted into the framework of his relationship with you.

Fathers, you are larger than life to
your sons. Mothers, you decide the comfort of his small world. If you are not
available, someone must fill in for you or else his world will crumble.  As a boy grows throughout elementary school,
his feelings, experiences, and thoughts continue to evolve around his
relationship with his parents.  If the
relationship is strong, his days at school will be more productive and
enjoyable.  If you had an argument before
he left home, he may fail his math test or forget to hand in his homework. Your
relationship influences every part of his day.

When he hits adolescent years he
scrutinizes his relationship with you. If you have a bad relationship,
adolescence will be a tumultuous time of anger and rebellion, as he fights to
strip himself from you, while suffering the psychological trauma of separation.  In a healthy relationship there is little
“undone business,” so a teen’s inevitable separation from his parents is far
less traumatic.  If a parent dies and the
son has had a good relationship, he will grieve appropriately and they move
forward.  Boys who have business to
finish or wounds that need healing can become stuck in grief after a parent’s
death.  In some ways adolescence is a
time of grieving.  During the teen years,
a boy purposes to leave behind his juvenile relationships and shifts into more
adult ones.

Parents are the number one influence
in a boy’s life.  His relationship with
his parents is the best indicator of the decisions he will make.  What really influences boys’ decisions isn’t
simply what parents say. It isn’t just discipline.  It is connectiveness-a deep sense that a son
fits in the family-he belongs, if you will, with mom and dad.  He feels appreciated, loved, and affirmed for
who he is a young man.

 

 

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