Family Connections

Are today's parents REALLY that far behind their kids with technology?

Is anyone else as miffed as I am about the continued assertion that kids know more about technology than their parents? That somehow the parents are clueless while the kids run rings around them?

Good friend Beth Blecherman (@techmama) tweeted today about a CNN piece on online safety http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2009/11/05/pn.kids.onli...

I watched the piece and slowly began to boil. I get that there are many online safety issues -- predators and porn, hate speech, kids registering for adult networks and so on. And I appreciate any efforts to educate parents and kids about Internet safety issues.

But I am having a hard time with the refrain that the kids know so much more than their parents.

We said this 15 years ago when the online safety issue first hit public awareness. Then, I believed it was true. Kids did have better opportunities to learn about technology than their parents. Unless they worked in tech, most adults just hadn't had the exposure to computers and the Internet.

But haven't we had time to catch up? Is anyone else as irritated as I am at this portrayal of the parent as the clueless noob?

‹ When did your kids start watching TV? How Close Are We? ›
Submitted by Susan Getgood (view blog) on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 5:56pm

Comments

 

Yes and no

You were right when you said (in Twitter) that I'd have something to say about this. I have a lot to say but am not sure how well I'm going to be able to say it - I need more coffee and a whole lot more time... but I'll give it a shot.

First, it's video like this that ticks me off. Why do we seem to think that our kids are SURE to run into a sex offender online when odds are that the kid is more likely to run into a sex offender on her/his way to school?

And, they talk about 15-17 yr old girls who are involved with older people online and how they feel powerful and get in over their heads. Um hello, 15-17 yr old girls did this before the internet... and they did it IN person. It isn't the technology that is the issue. It's life.

And the boys finding porn online via their PSPs... please, when we were kids, we had access to porn, we had it in paper version that we lifted from the 7-11 or from our father's secret stash in the toolshed.

But, about the kids being ahead of parents, technologically...

My kids aren't ahead of me, not even close. TW and I are the ones who introduce them to new technology. We are the ones who teach them how to find out which browser and version they're using and why that's important info that everyone should know. We're the ones who explain what it means to be a good online citizen. We're the ones who teach them to track down technological tools that can improve their lives. When my oldest and her husband visited us over the summer, they brought his father's laptop so I could clean it up and get it running properly because neither of them could do it. When any of the three older ones (26-19) have connectivity problems, they call me - they don't call their ISPs help line. When a kid needs one more source for a paper he/she is writing, they come to us for search phrase suggestions.

But, TW and I are not like a lot of parents and I'm surprised every time that fact arises. There are people who barely use email while their kids are out there using Facebook to connect at parties.

There are people who would never bother to consider that Twitter can be an effective brainstorming tool while their kids are out there asking Twitter to comment on blog posts that help them with their homework.

And, there are parents who are fairly tech savvy but haven't quite accepted that kids today learn differently and need different skills and experiences from those that they needed. Those parents are reluctant to push their personal boundaries around technology while their kids are technology fearless.

 

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

Submitted by Denise on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 06:37
 

I have a hard time articulating why bugs me
too

My husband and I are technology people too, and I realize that we are not the norm. Most households don't average 2 computers per person.

BUT -- that CNN story could have been produced 13-14 years ago during the Communications Decency Act Supreme Court case. At the time, we all acknowledged that kids were likely ahead of their parents on the technology curve. It was also important to highlight a new source of "stranger danger." As you say same dangers as always, just more easily available. And truly grosser. Bad porn on the Internet is just worse than a "liberated" copy of a girlie mag.

However, back then, I expected the situation to change in the future. The people who were in college in the mid 90s (and younger) are the now and next generation of parents, right? They may not be tech geeks like us, but I've just got to believe they aren't totally clueless noobs as presented in the video.

And if they are? Shame on them for squandering the opportunity.

Susan Getgood blogs at Marketing Roadmaps, Snapshot Chronicles and Snapshot Chronicles Roadtrip.

Submitted by Susan Getgood on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 08:05
 

I don't think the BlogHer segment of the
population is behind.

But dudes, we are NOT the norm for parents, and our kids ARE the norm for kids.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

Submitted by Rita Arens on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 10:35
 

Yes, Some Adults are Deliberately and Happily
Clueless

I have to agree with Rita. I just last night had to explain to a woman what a blog was, seriously!!  I have lots of friends who have their children program their Blackberries and then only use 1/3 of its functionality. There are still lots-- lots--- of parents out there who are very, very behind. Some of them are deliberately and happily clueless. Like Denise said, they do not want to stretch themselves. Many are intimidated.

It's hard to fathom because we are a part of a population that is totally immersed. I have surpassed my children (ages 10 to 24), I am happy to say. Not because I felt I needed to watchdog them, but because business necessitated it. My technological superiority annoys them so... This makes it all the more enjoyable!!

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting

Submitted by Gina Carroll on Tue, 11/10/2009 - 04:12
 

Well...

I am actually leaps and bounds beyond my children.

On purpose.

(Well..with the exception of video games. I am an uncoordinated dork at that. The Wii? Forget it. Give me a good ole Nintendo witha an arrow pad and three buttons. :) )

I'm keeping limits on them for now. They're getting to the age where they are going to be expanding their horizons but we've kept them fairly under exposed for many reasons. I'm not overly parinoid, but my own internet use has influenced my decision. My internet experiences have been WONDERFUL but I know better then most what a whole LOT of fugly there is on the net.

Plus, honestly, it is a huge time suck and they need to spend that time playing, ect.

 

 

Submitted by loraleechoate on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 21:52
 

I'm pretty much even

with my kids. I know as much as they do, but there's always something that one of us can teach the other. Case in point: my son connected the new printer when I couldn't figure it out, but I was the one who discovered why the pictures wouldn't print. It's definitely a race to see who can stay ahead of the race.

Submitted by Carmen S on Fri, 11/13/2009 - 06:25
 

I think it's going to be an effort.

My daughter will be exposed to things through education that I'm not aware of -- she already is. I'm going to make a concentrated effort to stay ahead of her. I think it will be time-consuming!

 

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

Submitted by Rita Arens on Fri, 11/13/2009 - 08:08