Making Marriage Better Online?

My husband and I were amused and intrigued by a New York Times article, Married (Happily) With Issues, written by Elizabeth Weil. She and her husband decided to actively attempt to improve their marriage even though they were not experiencing any kind of trouble or crisis. She chronicles their colorful and often funny experimentation with a myriad of books and therapists. My husband and I talked for days about this concept of making a good thing better and how it might be fun to make a concerted effort to work on our marriage. What followed our discussions, which were mostly teasing and jibbing about our various “issues”, was a light-hearted attempt at marital self-therapy.

Our self-therapy has consisted mostly of sending each other interesting articles about relationships, marriage and sex from sites and blogs online. And to say that there is a whole universe of relationship advice, discussion and “counseling” online is the understatement of this young century! We could do this forever and never run out of material to share. And we just might, because it has turned out to be quite fun! My husband’s favorite source of information is Redbook.com’s Sex and Love page. Since it's a women's mag site, he likes to find articles that he thinks apply to me. Like if I have been particularly naggy, he might email, Are You Nitpicky about Your Guy’s Annoying Habits?

I might make-up for my behavior by sending the message, “I think you must have written this article, Art of Kissing” at lovingyou.com. Or if we have been busy and have not “dated” in a while, instead of suggesting a dinner date, he might email Cosmo’s 12 Romantic Rituals to Start. If we’ve had an argument and I turn away at bedtime (which I am prone to do), chances are something like Love Coach Rinatta’s Why It’s Bad to Go to Bed Angry will be waiting in my inbox first thing in the morning.

So far I think we’ve “counseled” ourselves to a better place. We've tried all kinds of new and innovative things. We talk (and laugh) a lot more about our relationship and we have a million different private jokes, like how the saying “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual” has taken on a whole new meaning after sharing the article, Spirituality and Religion in the Bedroom at Sexandthe405.com.

Anybody else out there using the Internet to reconnect to or engage their love or mate? Any good, reliable go-to sites you can share?



Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting  and  Tortured By Teenagers

I think it depends on the mate.

My husband and I tend to e-mail each other DIY newsletters, but it's romantic because we're working on our future together.

 

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

I agree!

I agree--any subject that brings you together is romantic!! I know one couple that is heavy into NASCAR together--live and breath it--both of them! And a couple who are birdwatchers together and another couple who are motorcycle enthusiasts...always taking off on their bike together. I say whatever common passion floats your love boat...go for it!

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting   and    Tortured By Teenagers

Bossy and her husband use technology for store lists

With all the technology that exists, and all of the opportunities for connecting a million times a day to say I Love You, instead Bossy uses this technology to send her husband lists... lists of things she needs at the food store, at the office supply store, at the hardware store.

And it's so romantic!

BOSSY Depending on the kindness of mediocrities since 1966.

Relationships...

As the wise man Joseph Campbell said, 'Relationships aren't love affairs, they're ordeals."

I agree. I've been married for a decade, together for 13 yrs, we've lived in several countries, had companies, together and separately, we've sailed across the Atlantic together on our sailboat, we've been tested.

It's so much ado about monthly negotiations with some sex and romance thrown in when possible....it's when the negotiations become weekly or daily that the stress becomes too much.

I'm just glad we like to talk....it's difficult, it's an ordeal, but realize you're probably exchanging his baggage for another if you can't compromise...or if the compromise is simpy too much...

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