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At what age did your kids become textually active? Kids and cell phones. When do the two meet?
Our older son received his first cell phone in middle school, but I've come across some families who have either given their children cell phones earlier or later.
We decided 7th grade made the most sense for our family, but what makes sense for yours?
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Comments
Textually active
Best. Phrase. Ever.
Remember, I'm old and also I have a lot of kids. Brace yourself...
Jenn, the oldest, got her cell phone when she was 17. And there was no texting. It wasn't an option. It was a pay as you go cell phone.
The next two kids, did not have cell phones until they were about that same age. They didn't need them and I refused to pay for them. When they got cell phones, they texted very little because they didn't have phones that were very text friendly and neither did their friends. Michelle texted a little, Chris almost none. (Jenn, the oldest who never had texting as a teen is possibly the most avid texter of the bunch - she's 26 now.)
I did buy those two textually challenged kids iPhones (with an extra text plan) a couple of years ago. Based on their cell phone bills, Christopher is a heavy texter and Michelle uses text messaging alerts but doesn't send a ton of texts.
The three younger children all have cell phones now.
The oldest of this batch (almost 16) has lost more cell phones than I want to discuss. He does not text.
The middle child (14) doesn't really text very much either, she keeps her phone off except for emergencies (mostly.)
The youngest... (11)... she used to text me constantly. I had to use the "Denise voice" to threaten her with death if she didn't cut it out. She may have unlimited texting but I. DO. NOT. and also, I have a job. She texts a good bit, because she's the most phone friendly, has friends who text and is just that kind of kid. (She's also the only one of this batch who even remotely likes to talk on the phone. The oldest hates it, the middle child is trying to learn to like it because that's what teen girls do.)
~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings
Each Kid Is Different
Denise,
I think what you've illustrated so well is each kid is different and how they may use the technology will be based upon individual personality/comfort regardless of accessibility. While we believe 7th grade will be when our younger son receives his first cell phone, his personality is such, it may be a longer wait. He tends to be less socially mature than his brother. It is utterly possible that he will get to 7th grade and we will decide he's just not ready yet.
My older son barely ever texts me, or anyone else for that matter. he mainly uses the texting to find out when he needs to meet his teammates for rides to practice, etc. Each kid also may use the texting for a different purpose, as you noted in your comments too.
I think I may text more than my son. But my younger son I think will have us all beat. He's VERY social.
www.parentopia.com/blog
I am dying over textually active.
Seriously, Devra, you are killing me.
Thanks for sharing your kids' behavior, Denise. I have this vision that all kids are glued to their phones, but I suppose that's not any more true than saying all kids passed notes in school when we were kids.
Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.
They may act like it's attached, but they
don't always use it
My son always wants to know where his phone is, but he hardly ever talks on it or uses it for texting. I think he's more concerned with losing it than using it. Which really is pretty responsible of him. (but I also find it humorous too)
www.parentopia.com/blog
It's much, much worse.
Before we had some rules set in place, Paige sometimes has 20,000 text messages a month (incoming & outgoing). TWENTY THOUSAND. This is way beyond note passing like we were kids.
The teens that Paige hangs out with never ever talk on the phone. They either text or chat on Facebook. No real conversation ever transpires. It's so sad. *sigh*
Giyen Kim writes at Bacon Is My Enemy and vlogs at Momversation.
Just No Need Yet
My 10-year-old is dying for a cell phone. "All of my friends have one."--- "I'm the only one who can't text."--- "Jessica (his older sister) got a phone when she was twelve...and I'm more mature than she was." It goes on and on. Now, he has resorted to the most obnoxious ploy. He has given my cell phone number to his friends, who call and text him on my phone constantly!! Was it smart to give me a first-hand view of his and his friend's cell phone behavior?!?! I think not. I'm now pretty certain I going to wait an extra year before he gets a phone of his own. There is just no need yet!
Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting
He shut himself DOWN!
Maybe you need to have him read "How to Win Friends And Influence People" before you get him a cell phone.
www.parentopia.com/blog
Your Signature
I love your signature so much I had to figure out how you did that! Now, I suspect I will need to teach kids. Thank you.
Kids and phones
Doug has had a phone since he was 7 years old. It lives in his backpack, turned off. He turns it on when he needs to call his Dad or me. Once in a great while, he calls his Uncle for a chat. Sometimes he uses the camera.
It's just not a big deal for him. It;s more for my peace of mind.
Susan Getgood blogs at Marketing Roadmaps, Snapshot Chronicles and Snapshot Chronicles Roadtrip.
He's way more mature than my 9 year old
If my 9 year old had a phone with a camera, he'd be taking pictures down his own pants. He's just not ready yet and he'd probably wind up with a piece of my mind instead! : )
www.parentopia.com/blog
Textually active since 12, LOL
My son began begging at 8 years old for a phone. That was many moons ago,, and there was no texting then. He did great and I really enjoyed having him accessible at all times. He loved it too.
Now that texting is the rage, we communicate about pick ups, friends homes, changes in sports schedules - but he no longer is a textaholic with mom but with his friends and cousin.
I miss texting with him, but he's a teen now....and all I get is a text saying "MOM"....so i scrunch into my virtual corner and tweet!
Houseonahillorg
www.Houseonahillorg.blogspot.com
www.HealthierHappierHouseonahill.org
We text inside jokes to one another
My older son will send me text messages with a word or two relating to something funny that happened recently or a while back. Makes me smile and he gets a kick out of it too. especially when I respond in kind. www.parentopia.com/blog
Is 8 too young?
We have a very basic cellphone that my 8-year old daughter takes with her when she goes on overnight Girl Scout camping trips, sleepovers, etc... Parental controls are very tight on it, she can only make and receive calls to a few numbers like the home phone, my cell, husband's cell, and some relatives' cell phones. I tell her the phone belongs to all 3 of my kids, but since it's a pink phone and she has 2 brothers, it's pretty much hers :)
Depends on the child
You may have an 8 year old who is mature enough to handle the responsibiilty of having a cell phone. So no, I wouldn't say it's too young, however as a former summer camp administrator, I prefer parents not send cell phones with their children to camp. I understand parents want to be able to keep in touch with their kids, but keep in mind that your child may let another child use their phone and make calls. If that happens,, you will then have your cell phone number(and child) accessible to people you don't know. It's just something to consider.
www.parentopia.com/blog
"Textually Active" gets two thumbs up from me
So to speak. Well, the phrase does (that's killer play on words!). I'm not sure I'm thrilled about younger kids texting, though. It seems like a time waster, doesn't help them with vocabulary or spelling, and I wonder if it impacts their ability to verbally communicate!
My kids are grown and on their own, and we didn't have quite the pressure that you Mommas with younger kids have. My own children didn't even have cell phones until they graduated High School ... because the technology wasn't very advanced. The "cell phone" I had at the time was in a case larger than a diaper bag.
My youngest stepson, however, had one in High School, because he was keeping in touch with two parents in different households. But, that phone was a dinosaur ... it didn't text.
In fact, he was so embarrassed by his older phone (when so many of his friends had the latest and greatest) that it "went missing" and we had to buy a new one for him. The old one later turned up in the pocket of a coat. Imagine that!
He texts all the time, even when he is carrying on a conversation with people in the room! I'm not fond of texting, and think that the longer you can put off the inevitable the better.
Shelly Kneupper Tucker
writes at This Eclectic Life
Legalize and Regulate
When my son began texting, we all sat down together and discussed any limitations/rules. As we set up the short list of expectations, we asked our son questions like "Do you think it's rude to text when someone else is in the room with you and not texting?" and "Would it be okay with you if we made you wait for an answer while we texted our friends?" This got him thinking about being considerate while using his phone. We expect him to make mistakes, it's a learning process, but we also wanted to make sure he understood our expectations from the beginning too.
www.parentopia.com/blog
Pre-Texting
This subject was a very hot topic in our house a few weeks ago, when my 10 yo daughter came home from Sunday School telling me about all of her Sunday School classmates who were texting during service. (All turned out to be two, btw.) My head exploded, and I sat down to write a post about it, asking my readers to chime in.
(http://fiddledeedee.net/2009/10/12/pre-texting/)
Lots of moms certainly have an opinion about this. My opinion is that we're going to wait. And wait. And then wait some more. (And I admit, we homeschool, so it's easier to wait.)
We're all trying to do our best
Every family is unique and no one else lives with our family but us. So bottom line is you gotta do what makes the most sense for you and your family. I think it is up to us as parents though, to make sure our kids understand the appropraite use of technology. Texting during a religious service, in my opinion, is probably not what G-d intended! ; )www.parentopia.com/blog
Texting in a religious service is definitely
a faux pas.
That is all.
Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.
My daughter got her first cell phone at 5!!!
I am a single working mom who travels a lot, and when my daughter's nanny got ill, I decided that I wanted her to have a cell phone. Many of the other mother's were shocked and annoyed, but they understood that being in nyc all day with a child in the New Jersey suburbs with a nanny with cancer allowed for some slack.
My daughter is 9 now, doesn't abuse her calling privileges, and texts on a very limited basis. She makes $20 a week at a little job that she has, so I may let her pay for increased text preludes. She hasn't asked me if she can text more yet, so I will wait for that, and believe that it's inevitable.
I am lucky that my child is responsible, and I feel that for us and given who she is, having her own cell phone works. I think that making her pay the costs of the phone in the future will be important, as I don't think kids always connect the cost of things with their behavior and I think that it's important that parents try to teach that.