Have you watched the latest Juice video, No Time For Love yet?  Jory and Samantha discuss the idea that lack of time is the reason behind why couples aren't connecting with each other.  While I'm sure that is a valid reason for many couples I'm not entirely sure it is for my husband and I.  Let me tell you why.

I'm an organized, simple gal with plenty of time on my hands.  Yes I have three kids, yes I have my own business, yes I contribute regularly to The Juice and yes I am very active on the PTA but all these things are not contributing factors into why my husband and I don't regularly have date nights.  

It's not lack of time, it's sheer laziness.  

After 21 years together I don't need to dress up all fancy schmancy and gaze lovingly into his eyes over lobster to connect with him.  I connect with him quite well when he's in the kitchen cooking for me and I'm lounging on the couch catching up on Regis and Kelly.  The same way I'm sure he feels nothing but love for me when I let him play Wii hockey uninterupted for a couple of hours after a long day at work.   Now that's love even if we aren't in the same room together.

The problem with this philosophy however is that comfortability and laziness often lead to lack of passion and that is definitely not healthy.

So perhaps I do need to take a closer look at Samantha's advice.  In the video she listed four tips for finding the time for love or in my case finding the desire for love.

1.  Love is a goal.  Schedule it in

Yikes, we are terrible for this.  In fact I can't even remember when the last time was that just the two of us went on a date.   I like the idea of scheduling it in, I mean I schedule everything else in my life, why not a couple of dates.  We do watch videos every Friday night but I don't think staring at a television for two hours and not speaking really constitutes as connecting.  Do you?

2.  Put love in bucket #1

Ouch.  Here Samantha refers to priorities.  Sure, my husband and I love each other, it's just that we've become comfortable with that love allowing other things to take priority.   I don't think this is that uncommon unfortunately but I do appreciate the reminder here that maybe a few adjustments are in order. 

3.  Invest in your relationship by outsourcing 

This tip is useful for those that are just so busy they really don't have the time for each other.  Perhaps by taking something off their plates and giving it to someone else to do they'll then be able to direct that time and attention to their spouse.   Good concept but I'm still thinking that if I had a housekeeper and an extra couple of hours, I would use that delicious time for a nap instead :)

4.  Pefect the art of the little gesture

I definitely agree with this one. Often my husband will make me one of his special omelets that I love so much for dinner.  The thing that makes this gesture so sweet is that my husband is allergic to eggs and has never actually eaten an omelet himself.  I do appreciate that a lot.  During the school year I get up early to get some work done so I'll go ahead and put a pot of coffee on so it's ready when my husband gets up for work.  I don't drink the stuff myself.  These small gestures are often much more meaningful than an extravagant night out on the town once a week.

So while I don't think my spouse and I have to necessarily find the time for love, we should certainly make the effort for love.

I went searching for some ways that could help make this happen and found two posts that provide some great date night ideas:

30 Ideas For A Date Night At Home @The Mom Crowd

20 Pocket-Change Date Night Ideas @Small Notebook

Do you make time for love in your relationship?    Why or why not?