Rodney Carrington, a mostly off-color comic, has a bit about how he unfortunately gets ....aroused....every time he hears the Barney theme song, because his wife would put on Barney for the kids, so they would scamper off for 20 minutes of grown up time.

Then he sings "I love you, you love me...."

It cracks me up everytime I hear it, because as a parent, it's true, you gotta take the time to be together when you can get it.

My husband and I don't have official date nights, or anything scheduled on a regular basis, but we have some simple rules....

1-try to leave work at the door. You're apart for more than 8 hours a day, stress from work shouldn't take up your family time!

2-always sit down to eat dinner, together. Nothing keeps things hot like eye contact and conversation.

3-let the grandparents have the kids. Sure you'll miss them, but they won't miss you! And don't spend the night thinking about the kids, or balancing check books! (full disclosure, neither of my kids stayed over night w/my parents until after their 4th birthdays, took me awhile to learn to let them go...)

4-go to bed, together. I had forgotten how much I love those before bed conversations when my husband worked nights.  Sometimes it's like we're 20 again, giggling until midnight.

Oh, and 5-stock up on lots of Barney/Blue's Clues/Dora/etc dvds. ;)

We can't get rid of our kids. Not that we want to get rid of them forever, but if they could find a few more social activities OUT of the house, that'd be great.

While we wait for them to do that, we keep romance alive by holding hands and touching each other as we walk by. If I'm brushing my teeth and my husband walks in to brush his also, I know that his hand is going to slide along my hip or lower back on his way by me; I love that.

We'll have been married 23 years this December, and although romance ebbs and flows like in all relationships, luckily for us it mostly flows.

Now if we could just get rid of those teens for a while...

We have found that things are simpler all around if we just have romantic time, at home, after the kids are in bed.

Both of my sons have special needs, and we don't have babysitters we can use on a regular basis.  As such, we can't go out of the house for date night.  So - we bring it in.  We are romantically  refreshed by simply unplugging and doing something simple together - focusing on each other.  Life gets in the way, and it's so easy to just do the norm - which isn't focused on each other.  Shifting the focus helps us so much.

Michele

Sparks and Butterflies

Step back on lawn care. If we all spent a lot less time grooming our lawns, we'd have more time for romance. Let the lawn grow--who says your lawn needs to look like artificial turf? I know it's hard not to see dandelions as pests. But if you make an effort to see dandelions through the eyes of a child, you will see beautiful yellow flowers. Think of all the time you will save and how you can spend that time snuggled up on the couch instead.

One thing my partner and I began including in our lives is a weekly date night. Sometimes this is just cooking a nice meal together and watching a film at home, but other times we'll rent a hotel room just to get out of our normal routine and be able to leave all accountability to work and whatever else behind.

My husband and I have an official date night at least once every two weeks (or more ). We go out to eat or to  the movies or both. It makes a nice break from the hustle and bustle of the everyday stresses.

We plan tiny honeymoons--long weekends--at least once a season.  We're actually heading to the beach on Friday.  We were just texting each other about it--she said she was free to leave at 1:00, I begged for 12:59, she then pushed for 12:58.  We each have teenagers and busy professional commitments--this is our survival technique.

Deb
www.debontherocks.com blog
www.3smartgirlz.com consulting

We look at our calendars and schedule time. We know Friday and Saturday nights are our nights and don't schedule anyting unless neccessary. We also try to do something on Sunday mornings.

My husband and I love to slip away for a relaxing weekend at a quaint Bed and Breakfast about a half-hour drive away.  We have the grandparents keep the kids, and we slip away to just enjoy each other's company, away from the hustle and bustle of life.  We might swim, or watch  a movie together, but we just enjoy our weekend together, alone.

lizzydearslife@gmail.com

http://www.lizzydearslife.com

My fiance is deployed right now so for us we have to keep romance alive over the phone. We talk about all the dates we will have when he gets back. We also talk about our plans for getting married, going on a romantic honeymoon, and starting a family. Usually talking about the honeymoon keeps the romance going.

We LOVE our movie nights.  Every Saturday night, no matter how busy we both are other school/career obligations, we set aside time to open a bottle of wine and sit down together to watch a movie.  It's our "date night," since we can't afford to hire a baby sitter and go out on the town right now!

After being together for more than 20 years, my husband and I have learned a few things.  Never stop dating and never stop flirting!  If we can't go out for a night on the town, we give the kids dinner in the living room with a movie on the dvd player while we eat dinner by candlelight with a bottle of wine!  It doesn't have to be expensive - just time to connect.  Sometimes our date is just going grocery shopping alone sans kids.  Every day we flirt with each other just like when we were dating.  A wink, whisper or squeeze of the butt in passing lets him know that I still appreciate and desire him and vice versa!

My husband and I are the proud parents of one active 11-month old. With the days crazy and his work days long, it seems like the only times we have for ourselves are at the very beginning or end of the day. I get up at 5am when he does, to start our day together and get my kiss before he heads out for work. And then we make sure to have a late night snack or glass of wine each night before we go to bed. It doesn't seem like much, but it keeps us connected in these time-limited days and gives us a block of time where it can be all about ourselves. And that, is a definate to keeping the home fires burning.

We have date night each week.  We curl up on the couch to watch a movie, have a late dinner just the two of us or just talk.  It is great. 

On the weekends we tend to still wake up early, but we stay in bed.  Get your mind out of the gutter folks, we lay there and chat :)  That cuddle time is very special to us.

Someone already said it- but drop the kids at Grandmas- if they are old enough let them spend the night.  Mine are only 3 and 4 and they keep asking- "when do we get to sleep at grandma's again?" 

In the morning you can do amazing things- like read the paper and have breakfast together- in peace, lol 

Jenetta

http://www.FrugalFreebiesandDeals.com

A way to keep romance fresh is keep the bedroom fresh and different by changing it every so often. I like to re-arrange our room about twice a year. It adds newness and changes even what we see in the morning. Try just adding new pillows or a scented oil ring for your lamp. I also like to spray our sheets with lavender scented room/linen spray. Also, just by leaving the windows open all day and letting the fresh air in will add newness to the air. Be creative and have fun.

We don't live close to either of our families so we swap date night babysitting with some friends.  It keeps everyone flexible and we are able to go out on dates even at the last minute when time frees up.  Sometimes my husband and I watch all the kids together and put them to bed at our house and other times I'll head over to their house, put their kids to bed and have an hour or two of time to myself.  It works out great for everyone and I know it's been great for their relationship as well as ours!

My boyfriend and I find that we are most happy when we share our passions.  Sharing our passions means that when we are together we do not have that little nagging worry of all the things we "need" to do.  For instance, the boyf loves film and is writing a script.  I am in a band and love working on my blog.  We talk to each other about our passions.  We ask eachother's advice and talk through these creative pursuits so that we are actually involving each other in them and still even making progress on these pursuits.  Also, instead of eating out together all the time, we cook dinner together.  This saves money (and our health!) and is a *lovely* way to spend quality time together. We also work-out together.  Sometimes we have a movie in the background and the boyf will help me with weight-lifting, or we'll go to the beach and he'll bike while I rollerblade.  The point is, we work at our goals together and because of this we feel stronger as a couple and never resent each other for taking time away from pursuits that necessary or time-consuming.

Spending time together often takes planning, so my husband and I designate a night every week for a date, even if it's something as simple as cooking dinner or renting a movie.  I also like just snuggling while watching TV or talking about our day. Physical closeness goes a long way.

My husband and I are in the unfortunate position of being apart for three months.  Though we talk on the phone every day, it's easy to be distracted from the day while talking.  We've found that it makes a tremendous difference to just stop for a little bit to actually listen and pay attention.  It helps us to feel more connected while we're apart and it's an amazing feeling to be really listened to.  We plan to continue this once we're back home together.

Romance, what's that?

We have two children under 5, so romance most often takes a backseat.

But my husband and i try to occasionally have a date night. We go to a local wine shop that serves food. We sit at a small table, drink wine, and share appetizers.

Leighann of Multi-Minding Mom and The Full Mommy

It's hard to find time for anything, much more so with romance when you have little kids. But once in a while, we would have friends have our kid for a day while my hubby and I spend quality time together like spending a quite lunch or dinner at home w/o all the racket. We don't need to go out on a fancy restaurant for a date or two. Just being at home in all the peace and quiet is priceless!

Maricris

Where I blog: http://zenforyou.dalefg.net

Where I review: http://rivyoohoo.com

Where I create: http://goldenflowercreations.com

We make sure every week no matter how busy we are or our schedule, to go out of our way to spend some time together doing something we both enjoy even if its only for 30 mins to an hour. Usually it's something that is relaxing and/or makes us laugh.

My husband and I tell each other daily, "I love you". It's simple and really does make each of us remember that we love each other no matter what life throws at us. We've been married for 12 years and neither of have ever missed saying it.

Lets face it, in todays fast paced me me me world, those of us in good, solid relationships need to make time for healthy romance because as humans, we thrive physically, emotionally, and spiritually when we have good solid romance in our lives. The best things to do in order to bond in the best way, is turn off all tvs (unless watching a good movie that you both agree on and can laugh and share enjoyable moments from the movie). Share a nice dance to some smooth Jazz, turn off all landline and cell phones during that time and just relax not putting any pressure or expectations on each other but just go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may.

To make time for romance my tip is to be spontanious.  If you have a few minutes at the end of the day that is great..but use any extra time you have just for romance or to communicate with each other. Just go with the flow..