Long Live The Eargasm

A pack of 54 Q-tipsImage via Wikipedia

went to my Ear Nose Throat surgeon last week to have him check out my
jacked up schnaz (long story). After checking out my ears in a routine
fashion he told me I use Q-tips too often and that you are not supposed
to stick them into your ear canal to clean. “Then why did they invent
Q-tips?” I asked. He didn’t really answer me, he just said that I’d
been having too many “eargasms” and that it’s not good for the ear.

I Ask: “What am I supposed to do, let my ears get all buck nasty?”

He Says: “Well, you can put the Qtip in the canal if the wax starts coming out.”

I blurt: “Oh sweet Jesus, you did not just say that! My husband will divorce me for sure if I have nasty old man ears.”

I am rebelling against my doctor’s orders. After all, on a bad day in NYC, when ornery New Yorkers are elbowing you on the Subway and the urine soaked streets dominate your senses, the eargasm and a strong adult beverage are all you have to get by.

Long live the eargasm.

Need advice? Got your own eargasm story? Talk to me. Here or at

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