The Guest List

BlogHer Original Post

After Jenn picked out her wedding invitations, she called and asked me for a guest list. Two weeks later, she sent me a myspace message asking me for a guest list. Two weeks after that, she sent me a DM, an email and left a voice mail asking me for a guest list. Two weeks after that, I sent her one.

I didn't mean to put it off, it just happened. I wasn't trying to avoid making a guest list, it just sort of happened. When I sat down to make that guest list, I realized there were not all that many people I wanted to invite. The basic family members - parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and who else? Nobody else... except all of you.

I mean seriously, if I think back to my wedding and the people my parents invited who were not family members... They were coworkers, (that's you, and you and you, and also you, and all 75 of you, too.) They were friends, (that's you, and you, you too definitely, and also you and you and you.)

But isn't it sort of silly to invite internet friends? I mean it isn't obviously, because all of you are special and wonderful and definitely real live friends. Still, it seems... odd. Much odder than my parents inviting friends who I barely knew. And yet, is it really odder? I don't know, you tell me.

If I sent you an invitation would you think I was nuts? Don't worry, it's a rhetorical question. I am not really sending all of you invitations. Unless you want to DM me and tell me you'll be in Charleston the last weekend in March and would LOVE to come. If you are and you would, then I'd be happy to rush you onto the guest list. If you aren't and you won't, you won't hurt my feelings a bit. I'm just thinking out loud about how my relationships are different from my parents' and how that translates - or doesn't - into a guest list for a wedding.

Life is different. Wedding invitations should also be different, shouldn't they?

As I was thinking about all of this, I stumbled into an excellent post about the politics of wedding guest lists but what grabbed me was the comment:

I'm worried about this for my own wedding, but almost in reverse. I'm worried that I am going to invite people to my wedding who will be like "Why is she inviting me to her wedding when we're not that close!?" It makes me very self-conscious and so I think my wedding will be smaller than I want it to be because I might feel weird about inviting internet friends. I want them to come, a lot, but I don't want them to think I'm weird, either.

And then there's this post, Inviting Xanga and Other Internet Friends (check out her comments, it's a mixed bag.)

I kind of want to invite some people I’ve met via xanga and bonded with over the joy/stress of wedding planning to my wedding, but I have a question: Is that weird?

Should we go with this quiz? If you know the answers to these questions, you're on the list. If you don't ... sorry. (Oddly enough, a lot of my online friends could answer these questions about my daughter and a lot of my family members could not...)

I think we need a serious answer about this. Would YOU, as an internet friend, feel weird if you were invited to a wedding by an online friend?

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