Hair and Femininity: I Cut My Hair and Opened My Eyes

I have worn my hair short for 15 years. It is the best hair style for me and I am always complimented on it. It is very liberating and gives a boost to my self confidence.

I have tended to favor shorter hair styles since High School, and I know the sorts of looks I get for it. But I swear there is nothing more fun than deciding I need a reset and telling the lady at the hair salon "Number two buzz cut" and the many reactions I get for it, mostly shock. I also remember when I was 13 saying I was going to shave it off some day and everyone telling me it would look weird, and when I finally did, it was liberating and flattering on me. I have the opposite hair you do, thick and course, that doesn't want to do anything but stand up straight when short enough or lay flat. But I've still managed to experiment with every cut, style and color I can. I say embrace it, do what you will, its your hair, and if you don't like it, it will grow back, and if someone else has issue with it... they can just get over it. And thumbs up to you for being brave enough to take that leap.

I like this post! I think ultra-short hair can be very flattering and feminine (like on Emma Watson). Also, like Audrey Hepburn in "Roman Holiday" -- the haircut scene is classic.

One morning in October I decided I needed a change, a giant one. So, I booked an appointment with my hairdresser IMMEDIATELY, before I changed my mind. There were only two of us in the salon, another woman and myself. The other woman practically shrieked when she saw the picture of the cut I wanted, which would eliminate several inches of my hair. She had a running commentary throughout the whole process of how brave I was and how she could never do it, "Oh my gawd" was uttered several times. And the cutting was relentless...until the hair that was past my shoulders finally resembled the picture of Ashley Judd with her shortest cut (which can be found via Google). My hair was naturally very curly and is even more so now that it is shorter. I get more compliments from people I don't know than I ever did with it long. And, I'm o.k. with people wondering which 'team' I bat for. ;-) Sometimes I miss the femininity of the cascading curls, but the cute sparkly clips I can wear now that used to get lost in the frizz more than make up for it. Great post!!! Thanks for writing!

My absolutely favorite piece of art is Frida Kahlo's self portrait with cropped hair. I think you might enjoy this picture, from the Museum of Modern Art's collection: http://www.moma.org/collection/object.php?object_i...

Oh, I love this. It caught my eye first because of the photo of my cousin on one of your movie posters. (Oh how I idolized her short hair....) But then I read on and I just love it. My hair goes through cycles, long and then short. Every time that I cut it short, I swear I'll never grow it long again, because I look so much better with it short - and I generally think short hair is "hipper," more stylish. But I have to share the shortest hair story. I had longish hair, and wanted to go to something chin length. I went to a NEW stylist, and left looking like a soccer mom - which I was not. I was in tears, went back and asked her to fix it. It looked even worse. I cried even harder. I finally went home and took out the clippers, and put on the shortest blade. I buzzed it all off. And it was FANTASTIC. Aesthetically, it was the best I've ever looked. And it was totally empowering. Unfortunately, about 2 weeks later the promos for GI Jane began appearing and I was part of a trend..... I grew it back. But I know that someday, I'm doing it again.

I love this post, Rita. I've changed my hair as a fuck you, and I've changed my hair because I've been bored on a Thursday...the only year I felt like me was the year I got married, and man do I love this post.

I put blue highlights in my hair about a month ago, and I was shocked by how many people called me "brave" when I felt like I was finally back to being me. Maybe being ourselves is brave because I do feel stronger, sexier and more empowered for it. But not because of the blue but because of the me.

Well, good for you! I cut mine in a short pixie cut and now it is kind of growing out again - at that very annoying stage where I either cut it short again or look like crap for 4 months until it turns into a bob. I love short hair on women - it shows their face and eyes.

I have fine hair but a lot of it. As the daughter of a hair stylist, my mom insisted on trying to curl my hair for church, gave me perms, and my dad liked my hair longer. It was so tangly and hard to care for since I was tomboy that grew up at the beach and spent most of my time in the water. By this time my mom had given up on my hair, other than cutting it in a shoulder length bob--on Christmas morning when she couldn't brush the tangles out below my shoulders. I loved it shorter.

I colored it in high school and got permanent dye by mistake. A stylist cut my hair really short getting rid of the dye, and I loved the convenience although I didn't like the way she cut it, so I let it grow out. I started dating my husband in high school, and he loved running his hands through my hair although his hand would get stuck when my hair was longer than shoulder length.

As a college freshman, my mom found a master stylist to take me from long to a flattering short cut. Very similar to Monica from Friends with the longer layers on top and short on the back of the neck. When I went over to see dh after I got it cut, I was standing in the living room where his parents were admiring my hair when he walked into the room. He stopped in his tracks and just said "WOW". I loved my hair in college and got so many compliments on it. I found a stylist that kept up the style and had the same type of hair, so she knew exactly what products I needed. That made all the difference in making my hair easy to style and maintain.

I grew my hair to shoulder length for our wedding and wore it flipped up with a wreath of silk roses with a long veil down the back. It was chic yet romantic. I tried a fussy updo, but it wasn't me. We didn't have much money as newly weds, so I kept my hair just above shoulder length with a few layers that was easy for any stylist to cut. My dh liked my hair shorter so he could run his fingers through it without getting his hand stuck.

I found an awesome stylist when we moved to Chicago, and she did a dramatic style change from shoulder length to a very short cut. It looked fabulous. Dh was shocked at first, but the next morning when I walked into the den in my pjs, dh said I looked so sexy and he loved my hair--it just took him a bit to get used to it.

I'm about to get my hair cut into a stacked shorter cut for Christmas. Right now it's halfway between my shoulders and chin, and I've been trimming it myself. I've been having medical issues and just haven't felt like finding a stylist since we moved this year. I also haven't been going very many places so keeping up with a shorter hairstyle hasn't been a priority.

My ex was adamant that I never cut my hair. When I filed for separation, the hair was one of the first things to go. It was a little bit out of spite, but mostly because I wanted to do something with my hair that was MY decision. The guy I dated after my divorce mentioned that he liked long hair and my response was "Yeah? Well, tough." Hehe. Now it varies. Sometimes I grow it out, sometimes I get it cut above my shoulders. My husband loves it either way.

I think short hair on other women looks beautiful. If they can pull off the shaved head, even better! I don't think it makes them look any less feminine. Hair is such a weird hangup for people.

Good story. I've never cut my hair short, but I am coming to terms with my natural hair texture these days. The next time I cut my hair I'll be getting rid of the majority of my hair that was chemically straightened.

I won't be cutting my hair super-short, but it'll still be a blank screen for people to project their thoughts about beauty, femininity and ethnicity onto. It's amazing how much women's hair (length, color, texture) can be such a lightning rod for commentary!

I cut my hair short short in 1996, then pixie cut short a year later and still have the same style. Twice, I thought I should shake things up and experimented with growing it out but I never let it grow beyond my ears.

Simply put: I feel powerful when my hair is super short. I feel bold and brave and sexy. When my hair gets longer, it feels like the hair hides ME.

My stylist in the city where we used to live understood why I liked the style and never hassled me about changing it. For the past five years, I've had a new stylist and there's not a cut that goes by that she doesn't ask if I want to mix things up. I understand, I suppose. She's an artist and hair is her life and creative outlet. But it's not mine. I like the convenience of short hair (I do zero work in the morning: jump out of the shower, wipe it with a towel, run my fingers through it and that's that.), and I like how it makes me feel.

You're absolutely right that most men don't understand. Luckily, my husband isn't "most men" and he prefers it this way. I'll never forget the day I came back from the stylist, when I first went pixie short, and he practically growled about how sexy I looked.

Congratulations on your short do!

I hope you will do some follow-up posts! Hair length, in my experience, is the number one factor about whether or not I am perceived as lesbian. Well, maybe the #2 factor -- when I was pregnant, I think it would have required a shaved head with skull tattoos for people to see me as a lesbian. :)

My hair is too thick to wear very short. The shorter it gets, the WIDER it gets. Otherwise I totally would. I think there are plenty of short styles that are both feminine and bad-ass.

Boys and men do love long hair. That is why I waited until the day after my wedding to chop off my hair the first time. ;)

Since then about every six years or so I chop it off. Most recently in August I took off 17 inches. I actually had some fun with it and let my twitter and facebook friends decide if I would keep it or chop it (http://www.squidoo.com/keep-or-chop).

The good thing about short hair is that I can experiment more with color, I am currently dark brown (I have been blonde all my life) and am thinking of putting in burgundy tips. In six weeks it will grow out and I can try something new. Something that is very hard to do with long hair without drying and frizzing the heck out of it.

This time around I am going to stay short for a little longer than I normally do. I am really enjoying the freedom and experimenting.

I have had mixed emotions from people. Some love the new look, some don't know what to think and some just prefer it long. But I am enjoying it. And my husband says I'm cute anyway (what else could he say).

Have fun with it!

I chopped all my hair off once. It was even longer than it was now and I came out with SHORT hair. We are talking less than an inch long. I'm sure that are short styles that can suit me but let me tell you, that wasn't one of them. Maybe some day I'll try short again but not any time soon. I couldn't deal with the hair cuts every 4 weeks. I am far too lazy about hair maintenance for that.

My hair texture changed in my 40s so that my then longer hair looked rather tent-like in shape, took hours to dry, and just wasn't all that becoming.

I love having shorter hair, the ease of care, except for the need for frequent trims. And I'm not above trimming my own bangs to delay a trip to the hairdresser!

So funny!

As a Black Woman hair is a thing. It's something I always wish I had more of, always wanted longer hair and always wanted different hair. Now that I've locced it I feel that I am so much more than my hair and am satisfied with what I have. My kid is having hair issues and I have to constantly fight with people who think I should do other things with it. Sigh! Enjoy your short 'do and I'm sure it looks fab.

-r

Funny! I have thick, fine hair that takes FOREVER to dry and won't hold a curl, much less a perm. I got spiral perms in the 80s to try and at least get a wee bit of wave. So frustrating! When straight hair came into style (finally!) I could breathe for awhile.

In the past, I have loved having long hair. LOVE IT. But it simply didn't look good on me and I had to finally accept that. So, I gave up years ago and went shoulder length. I'd also love to have no bangs, but again, those don't look good on me either (I have a white egg face. Bah!)

I guess as mothers to daughters, it's one more lesson we have to teach them. That odd path to finding what fits us vs. what society/fashion tries to put upon us vs what *WE* really feel comfortable with.

I cut my hair short in the late '90s, but it just didn't work on me. My head is too square or too big or something. I wish I could pull off a shorter look, but I think I'm better off sticking to what I'm used to.

I have a mane, its unruliness and thickness have been something I've fought for so many years. Looking back I was always either lamenting the size of my feet and how they couldn't fit into the trendy shoes, or how my hair wouldn't conform. Recently I've come to love these things that keep me from being lost in a kind of sameness. Also, big hair and feet are awesome for girls like me who love boots and caps.

See. And I have such thick dark hair that it does not do cute pixie or anything remotely close. The shorter it gets, the poofier and frizzier it grows. I adore short hair on women, and it totally suits you.